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Vaginal tear - WILL NOT HEAL!!

Postby shortone1988 on Wed May 08, 2019 12:43 pm

I’m 30 and I’ve been getting tears for a few years now. Prior to this I have been very sexually active since 21 and never had any issues. It began with my ex who is a tall stocky chap. 6ft6 and broad while I’m 5ft2. We tried everything to overcome it. Different positions, extra lube. Once he was inside the sex was completely fine as I relaxed and the area slightly numbed to the sensation, but it was the initial “here it comes” entry that was difficult. Sometimes him even just touching the entrance to my vagina was a huge “OW!!! No no no!!” I always tensed up with anxiety when the time came around which didn’t help the matter. It’s very hard to relax when you know you’re going to get a stinging sensation. Reverse cowgirl and some other positions too really helped but it started taking its toll on me that I couldn’t switch off to it and just jump straight into it. Certainly multiple sessions became a NO NO. Each time we had to prep for it and do a “brace yourself” sort of notion. Going to the toilet a few times after sex became painful too with stinging and bleeding. It took its toll on our relationship and we separated two years in. I started to associate sex with him as painful and it put me off. I visited a gyno and was advised to massage vaginal cream into the wound to keep it open, sort of stretch it out. It kept sealing up and then tearing again over and over. I tried that for a few months and no joy. If anything the repeat massaging caused it to continuously bleed and be irritated, as well as be in constant discomfort. Given that area, the wound is never dry enough to scab over and resealed due to legs always being close together. I’ve been tested for STI’s, changed diet, trialled coming off the pill to see if it helped my libido. TRIED EVERYTHING! No luck. It got to the point the area repeatedly teared while washing, sleeping in certain positions and stuff. I’ve recently had another gyno appointment and was suggested that I try a dilator for the next 5 weeks gradually each week going up a size in dilator to loosen me and get me more comfortable with average penis size entering. Sort of like ear stretching. I’ve started doing that and also looked into pelvic floor exercises to weaken the muscles. Over time I’ve tensed up with the anxiety of each sex session so often that I’ve tightened my pelvic floor muscles a huge amount which doesn’t help the situation. I believe weakening my pelvic floor will help me but that will take time. I’ve also looked into perineum massages that are recommended for pregnant women to prevent tears during labour. Again, early stages but I feel it could be beneficial long term. Am I doing the right thing?? I’m single and not looking to sleep with anyone for a while so thankfully it allows me a long time to train my body. At the end of the day I fear the tear will continue to seal and reopen regardless of how many stretches and pelvic floor work I do, which frustrates me – as I’m sure it would all of you. What I would like to know though is if there is any way of putting a form of sealant on the wound while it’s open to prevent it from constantly healing and reopening. Any ideas? Appreciate responses from anyone!!
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Re: Vaginal tear - WILL NOT HEAL!!

Postby jessicaholt27 on Fri Aug 23, 2019 9:57 pm

Hi, thank you very much for sharing this post!! I am experiencing very similar problems and felt like I was all on my own with this issue! I am 19 years old and have just begun having sex with my boyfriend. At the beginning of our relationship, I would be able to have sex a couple of time a day without any problems. However, recently I get small vaginal tears every time we have sex which means that we can have sex once and then can't for nearly a week after whilst I wait for the cut to heal, this happens even when using lube and with extra foreplay. I can strongly relate to what you were saying about the anxiety you now get around having sex which causes you to tense up and make the skin more likely to tear. It was obvious to my boyfriend that I used to have a high sex drive but now I find sex a bit daunting, even though it is not painful once he is inside, I struggle with some positions and I am constantly aware of the pain and stinging that will come after. I am worried this will take a toll on my relationship as it did with yours and that it will affect my sex life for the rest of my life. As I am quite young I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this (too awkward and embarrassing to talk to friends and family) and wouldn't even know how or where to find a gynecologist!!! Sorry I could provide you with any more answers but just wanted to share my experience and thank you for sharing yours and making me feel a less alone :) If anyone has any answers or can help in any way please reply to this!!!
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Re: Vaginal tear - WILL NOT HEAL!!

Postby talkhealth on Tue Aug 27, 2019 8:51 am

Hi jessicaholt27

Thank you for your recent post. In June we ran an online clinic on bladder issues, http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/online_clinics/online_clinic_on_bladder_issues_2019.php you may find some of the questions asked and answered useful.

Kind regards
talkhealth team
Read our health blog - http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/blog
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