Started my period a year ago, don't think this is normal

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dxzaichipx
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by dxzaichipx on Fri Nov 20, 2020 1:18 am

Started my period a year ago, don't think this is normal

Hi! If I could possibly have just a few minutes of your time, whether you’re a doctor or just a fellow person who menstruates, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

I’m 13 years old and at the end of June last year I got my first period. I had been dreading this moment my whole life and it completely threw me off guard, but I sucked it up and put on a panty liner (thinking it was a pad at the time.) I began to think, “Hey, this isn’t so bad.” I was quickly proven wrong. That night, after ruining another pair of underwear and putting on a proper pad, I picked up one of the books my mother gave me a few years prior and read that your first period was supposed to be short and light. Mine was not. It lasted about 9 days and was a moderately heavy flow, stretching into the next month. Not to mention, I began sleeping sitting upright on my couch because I was absolutely petrified of leaking onto the bed. I still do every time I start my period. Once it finally ended I was so relieved that I could sleep in my bed again. Fast forward to July and it starts back up again on the 29th, the same date as last month and it lasted around 9 days again. Come August, it doesn’t come. I don’t think much of it because hey, I get a break this month, right? Then September comes and it starts again. Only this time it doesn’t stop. I bleed and I bleed and October comes and goes and suddenly we’re in November, I’m still bleeding fairly heavily. (I feel like it’s worth noting that one day I was at school and managed to get through 2 very fully used pads within 3 hours, and I actually had to go home that day because it was so bad) I had tried birth control to attempt to slow it down but it appeared to make things worse. I get an ultrasound which revealed nothing and a few days later it stops, thank goodness.
The next month comes and it falls into a weird pattern of skipping every other month and lasting for about 5 days. It seemed like a pretty good deal for me. But then another weird thing happens, I have my period, 5 days, and then it stops, however not 2 weeks later it starts up again and lasts about a week. Since then it’s been irregular but still coming almost every month, (I skipped September this year) and I am at my wit’s end. The mental and physical toll it takes on my body each month is stressful beyond belief and I feel as if I can no longer trust my own body. I’m constantly wondering when it’s going to come and it uproots my entire life when it does. I don’t feel safe anymore. I’ve started wearing pads all the time because I never know when it’s going to come. I don’t want to take birth control because I fear it will make things worse or won’t work at all, or I’ll forget to take it one day and start bleeding again. I really want to get a hysterectomy but my parents don’t approve and nobody would be willing to remove the reproductive organs of a healthy young girl. I don’t even want kids and I’m being tortured by my own body every month.
It’s been a little over a year since I started but I really don’t think I can take much more of this. This could just be me whining about having my period but I really don’t think this is normal, especially for someone who just started it. I know it’s supposed to be irregular for a couple years after starting but I really don’t want to live in fear anymore.