ANXIETY AFTER GRIEF
Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2018 3:45 pm
My young daughter died suddenly aged just 30 a couple of years ago, we don't know why, they said sudden adult death on death certificate. Few months after my dad died suddenly of cancer. I have always been quite a fretful person, but now I worry about my surviving daughter, and now new baby granddaughter, stupid things like if she says she is going on a long car journey, or on holiday, I get endless nightmares about planes/car crashing. I stress about my granddaughter dying from choking, or accidents, and recent one is she is starting nursery, so I spent whole night in a state worried she got out, got run over, or nursery was on fire. Completely irrational fears that are all consuming. My biggest fear is that I could not go through that pain again of losing another child. I understand it is linked to my daughters death so all those fears are magnified beyond reason. I try to keep a rein on them getting out of control. I do practice mindfulness as I am quite anti-drugs, did not take any antidepressants etc after the deaths. She is starting nursery next week and already I am losing sleep worrying about it. My daughter said she would take me to the nursery to allay my fears so I can do a health and safety check for myself. I cannot understand how these thoughts evolve when I already know they are irrational, and why they happen, so why can't I fix/stop it?