How can I help my daughter?

[Guest Posts]

HI MY 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WAS DIAGNOSED AS HAVING DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY WHEN UNDER THE CHILDRENS HOSPITAL BUT HAS NOW MOVED TO AN ADULT ONE AND AFTER ONE SESSION AND FORMS BEING FILLED IN THEY THINK SHE MAY HAVE PERSONALITY DISORDER AND WILL BE GETTING ASSESSED FOR THAT. BUT I'M HAVING REAL TROUBLE COPING WITH HER AS HER MOODS ARE SO ERRATIC SHE CAN BE IN GOOD MOOD THEN HALF AN HOUR LATER BE REALLY DISMISSIVE SO YOU KNOW NOT TO TALK ANYMORE. BUT SHE IS ALSO SUPER SENSITIVE AND GETS SO UPSET BY SOMETHING THAT WOULDNT BOTHER ANYONE ELSE WE ALL FEEL LIKE WE ARE TREADING ON EGGSHELLS AND ARE FRIGHTENED TO TALK IN CASE WE SAY THE WRONG THING. ALSO TRYING TO MOTIVATE HER TO GET A JOB IS A NIGHTMARE SHE JUST SEEMS TO EXPECT ME TO KEEP GIVING HER MONEY TO GO VISIT HER BOYFRIEND AND BUY STUFF FOR HER INCLUDING HER MEDICATION FOR DEPRESSION WITHOUT HER DOING ANYTHING. SHE DOESNT EVEN HELP AROUND THE HOUSE WHEN EVERYONE IS OUT AT WORK I COME HOME AND STILL HAVE TO WASH, COOK, CLEAN DO DISHES ETC AND I'M BARELY SLEEPING AS I'M TERRIFIED SHE WILL DO SOMETHING (SHE HAS SELF HARMED IN THE PAST).

I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO HELP HER AS I FEEL LIKE I CANT DO ANYTHING AND IF I DO ANYTHING I FEEL ITS THE WRONG THING.

CHELLE

[Teyhou Smyth]

Thank you for your email.

Personality disorders are complex and are a type of mental disorder in which you have a rigid and unhealthy pattern of thinking, functioning and behaving. A person with a personality disorder has trouble perceiving and relating to situations and people which causes significant problems and limitations in relationships, social activities, work and school. Personality disorders usually begin in the teenage years or early adulthood.

Depending on the specific personality disorder I would advise that you learn about it and the symptoms that follow. Often, the behavior that follows a personality disorder is symptomatic. Further information can be found on : https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-con ... c-20354463

I would also advise seeking your own counseling and anyone else who is affected by the behavior which will provide additional support as well as reduce any self blame. Further support can be found on https://www.bacp.co.uk

Thank you