Always need to cover up

[Dianewest]

I always feel the need to cover up when venturing out into the world--as in, never wanting to take off my coat/jacket when in a building (not home), or needing to wear an outer layer like a trench coat, cardigan, or hoodie even when it is hot outside in the summer. I feel so bare and nervous without that extra layer, and it calms my anxiety a little, but it's difficult fitting into a corporate work environment with this behavior.

Is there any way that I can move away from this?

[Jayne Ellis]

Hi,

There are a few things you can try!

First of all, have a good think about how you are talking to yourself, are you listening to the negative thoughts in your head that are telling you that you need to cover up and hide? We are all rather good at bullying ourselves and get very used to doing it. You are NOT the voices in your head telling you that you need a hoodie on to be confident so challenge them. If you don't you will never be able to move on. You need to believe that you can overcome this feeling so you can take steps to change. When you start telling yourself negative things say 'STOP' take a deep breath and then change the thought. If you find doing this hard try taking a mindfulness course or meditation as it helps you centre your thoughts and concentrate on the moment. Don't 'ruminate' on what might happen or what has happened before. This is the process whereby you say to yourself 'what if' or ' I should have' and the attach negative feelings to these thoughts, they don't help you and make you anxious.

Challenge yourself to just take off one layer and go outside just for a really short time and see what happens, write down how it makes you feel. The try again, even just taking your jacket off at your desk for a few minutes will really help, you will not change this behaviour unless you challenge it but it will be hard and uncomfortable so do it in little steps. Maybe find a very body confident friend to go out with you, to begin with as this can really help.

One last thing is to begin to love your body and thank it for what it does for you, I know this sounds strange but it really helps. Take a selfie or look in the mirror and thank your body for being strong and healthy and getting you this far and keeping you alive. Do this every day.

It might be that you will need some professional help to really overcome this so please goa and see your GP if these feelings get worse despite trying to help yourself. Also, remember to eat well and keep fit as this makes you naturally more body confident and feeling healthy.

Good luck, I know you can make some really positive changes.