Worried about my son

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by Guest Posts on Wed Apr 24, 2019 1:56 pm

Worried about my son

My son has anger management issues and depression - he is 33 and has been this way since a teenager. He now constantly says he is going to harm himself, but he won’t go to a doctor or a therapist and won’t talk to me about it. Almost 3 years ago he came home to find his dad dead on the floor after a cardiac arrest, and has been much worse since then. He lost his job in November and seems to have no inclination to look for work - says what is the point when the government takes it all back in taxes etc. He started renovating his bedroom then gave up and it is a disgusting mess - I have tried to get him to carry on thinking it would raise his health if his room was nice, but he’s not interested. I retired early for a peaceful life, and although I don’t let things get me down I find I am worrying about him all the time if he goes out and stays out all night. His friends all seem to be in the same state of mind so no help there! Is there anything I can do to help him? If I try to talk he just talks over me. Perhaps someone I. The forum may have experienced this and could give some pointers?
Thanks, Jane
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Jayne Ellis
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by Jayne Ellis on Fri Apr 26, 2019 12:13 pm

Re: Worried about my son

Hi Jane,

You are in a very tricky situation and I really sympathize with you.

I found this article in a publication called Empowering parents that I thought might be a useful read
https://www.empoweringparents.com/artic ... ing-crazy/

This one also seems to have some sensible advice https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family ... ng-at-home

The things they have in common seem to be along the lines of setting boundaries and being assertive with the adult child so you are not being taken advantage of.

I think you need to put your needs first now and get some help and support for yourself, perhaps go and talk things through with your GP and see what he/she can offer you?

I hope this is helpful and that things work themselves out for you and your son.

Jayne
Jayne Ellis
Founder and Director - EF training

http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... _ellis.php

jabax1824
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by jabax1824 on Sat Apr 27, 2019 12:14 am

Re: Worried about my son

Many thanks for your very helpful reply. I will certainly read all the information and see if changing the way I approach things can help. After an outburst the other day he has been helpful and seems happier, but then I know that things will spiral out of control again. Any new ways of dealing with things are welcome, so I'm grateful for your input.

J

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