Abused for years

If you have any questions relating to mental well-being that don't fit in the categories above please post them here.

Moderator: talkhealth

2 posts
Guest Posts
Posts: 736
Joined: Wed Sep 07, 2016 4:12 pm

by Guest Posts on Thu Apr 25, 2019 10:19 am

Abused for years

I have been dumped after a 30 year marriage and realised that I had been living a nitemare for the last 10 years of it. He was an passive aggressive abuser. I am almost sure he is a narcissist with a full blown disorder.

He has been fighting me in court for financial settlement for 5 years since he left. He claims he has mo money, but of course he does. He doesn’t care if he wins or looses because he continues the abuse which I know is common amongst abusers. The courts treat him as my equal, but he is not my equal. He’s a liar, a cheat and an abuser. I look back at my life and see a wasted life with someone who cared nothing about me. It’s difficult to find purpose when you know you were used. I can’t even attempt to make baby steps forward for any sort of life because I’m constantly having to go to court. All the finances were stupidly in his name and in his control. He comes and goes as he pleases, hides money in the full eye of the law and I’m having to get evidence in a forum that allows so little scope to get this evidence. Abuse may not be spoken about in court because then I look the wife who wants to get back at him. I’ve been abused since 2006. I don’t know if I’m sane anymore. I don’t think so.

I’m fed up and feeling truly useless, valueless. I was put on this world to be his punching bag. I have no purpose other than this. This is my reality.

I am older so a new career is not on the cards. He took the best years of my life.

talkhealth team on behalf of a guest visitor

User avatar
Teyhou Smyth
Posts: 29
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 10:48 am

by Teyhou Smyth on Fri Apr 26, 2019 11:54 am

Re: Abused for years


I am sorry to hear of your difficulties and challenging life transition. It sounds like there are lot of feelings and unresolved emotions that are overwhelming and sadly taking their toll on you and that you were involved in a relationship that left you feeling unvalued and uncared for.

I would advise that you seek the help of a mental health professional so that you can process your feelings and begin to make changes in your life.

I would recommend https://www.bacp.co.uk as a starting point to seek some counseling which might be a good start.

Wishing you good luck in your road to recovery .
Teyhou Smyth
Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and Registered Associate Professional Clinical Counselor

http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... _smyth.php

2 posts