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Finding it hard

Posted: Tue Feb 11, 2020 10:15 am
by Guest Posts
I have seen a urologist about this and her comment is, "It will get better when I feel better and relax". She has me on a Ketamine 20 mg, Diazepam 10 mg, and Tetracaine 5 mg three times a day suppository to help me relax. I have been on this for the past 2 months. Yes, it takes the pain away, but doesn't seem to be fixing the problem.

Apparently I'm very tight and have a real hard time relaxing enough to urinate and ejaculation is very, I mean very painful. So much so I mentally want sex, but physically don't.

I'm 51, white and very healthy. I have good cholesterol, normal blood pressure, not over weight, don't drink or smoke and workout daily. I'm a Civil Engineer and sit at a computer all day. I Alpine ski, bike, run, lift weights and swim almost daily.

I curious as to what you have to say.


Re: Finding it hard

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2020 4:24 pm
by Lorraine Grover
Hi Joe
Could you please clarify what you mean about being 'very tight'?

Re: Finding it hard

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:51 pm
by Joe Gray
Yes, I can explain further.

Very tight as in muscle tightness. I believe this is why my urologist sent me to the physical therapist.

I have been instructed to sit to urinate, breath in real deep by pushing my stomach out and down towards my toes. By doing this around ten times, I'm finally able to urinate. It's very slow start and stop stream, but I can go. My urologist has me keep a log and as long as I stay between 15 and 20 attempts a day and 2 to 4 times a night I seem to manage my urination issues. I have found that standing and pushing just produces a lot of burning sharp pain from deep inside me all the way to the tip and at times blood. My urologist says the blood comes from some very shallow blood vessels on my prostate.

The tightness also applies to bowel movements. Once again I seem to get bowel when urinating, but it's the only way I am able to get bowel out. It is almost always the size of tooth paste and about the same consistency. I go the same number 15 to 20 times a day. I also get blood bright red blood in my stool when I push too. So if I sit breath and relax, I can go.

Erections are similar too. If I notice an erection coming on at night I either try to stop it by cooling down, or moving around. If it does get erect, I have been instructed to record the time. It it goes beyond 4 hours, I'm to call my urologist and or go to the emergency room to get help. I have tried masturbation, but have found it's nearly impossible to reach ejaculation and if I can get there, it hurts real bad starting deep inside of my abdomen and all the way out and each ejaculation is the same until it stops. By this time it stops my whole abdomen is in spasm and hurts like a pulled muscle spasm feeling. I just don't want to go there.

The only relief my urologist has given me is the medications I mentioned. I have found that all it does is make it not hurt and it does this quite well. I get relief within about 10 minutes and for the next 4 to 6 hours. But it doesn't fix the problem of what I have called very tight. I have also been instructed not to ride my bike and not to do any workouts, involving heavy lifting, core or core strength exercises. I have also been told to do yoga and meditate.

I will add that my urologist tested me for UTI's around 12 times and STD's 4 times and all came back negative. I am not sexually active, but sure would like to be someday. My urologist also said I could see another urologist if I wanted to do some bladder, erection and possibly Botox injections, but she doesn't do those tests on men.

I hope this helps

Re: Finding it hard

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2020 10:47 pm
by Lorraine Grover
I wonder if general anxiety has a part to play too? I find that as a psychosexual therapist I sometimes identify behaviour that affects sexual function that is not directly related to sexual organs. I can now understand why you described 'muscle tightness.' Not being able to ejaculate can also be related to generalised anxiety. Often it is difficult for an individual to be aware of this. I suggest having an assessment with a counsellor/psychotherapist alongside the other management you already are having to see if it helps.