First post - Just looking for direction to potentially get help

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by RobFarley on Fri Jun 05, 2020 10:38 am

First post - Just looking for direction to potentially get help


So my situation is that me and my girlfriend are both working full time from home, as well as schooling our two kids (4 and 8), so we're taking it in turns to work whilst the other teaches / entertains the kids. This in itself is tough as I'm sure there's many people in this situation.

On top of this my mother has been terminally ill with Cancer for the past year and a bit, she was given a year to live a little over a year ago, we've been through various chemo treatments as well as experimental stuff, and we've now got to the point where there's nothing left and it's about managing her end of life. She has tumors in her lungs, liver, kidney and abdomen, so she's properly buggered. Every time I see her she's looking more ill, she's living in pain and her pain meds are upped every week. So at some point the meds will no longer be effective and she'll just be in pain until she dies. And it really sucks (to say the least).

I'm also a bit on the autistic spectrum, described as "high functioning" which I hate as a label, but it is what it is. Not sure it's relevant but it makes my reactions to things sometimes a little more extreme than a "normal" person. The knowledge of this allows me to temper my immediate reactions and also act more normally around people, silly stuff like engaging in or starting small talk, it's just not something that is in any way natural to me.

Anyway, so that's the background. And that's not what my problem is really... My problem is that as I've been feeling (understandably) sad and my sadness quickly turns to anger. I'm finding I'm having a very short fuse and I can't seem to keep a lid on it. I've shouted at my kids when they've not been doing anything that bad. I'm reacting badly to my girlfriend saying things that I'm just taking the wrong way, slamming doors, pushing a chair over... You get the idea...

I'm not liking what I'm becoming, and I really need to try and do something about it, but honestly, I have no idea where to turn, I don't know if this is an anger management issues, depression, or just me being a dick and not handling things well. I just don't know.

Any advice, phone lines, drugs, email help... Anything that can stop me from becoming a complete arse would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers, Rob

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by talkhealth on Mon Jun 08, 2020 10:44 am

Re: First post - Just looking for direction to potentially get help

Hi Rob,

Thank you for posting on the forum. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot and sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. At least you recognise there's a problem and are willing to help yourself to manage your emotions. These are indeed very testing times for many people so you are most definately not alone.

In the first instance, we would always urge you to ring your GP where they will be able to help you get the appropriate help.

Also please find here a link for other areas of support that you may find useful: ... helplines/

You may also want to get in touch with one of our charity supporters 'Mind' where you will be able to talk with someone. Please find the link here:

This is their info line where you can talk to someone:

Infoline (0300 123 3393/ text 86463), which offers callers confidential help for the price of a local call.

Kind regards
talkhealth team

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