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Am I a pedophile?

Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2020 1:13 pm
by swampconcept
Ok, here goes.

Always wanted to talk about this in my real life, face to face, but I'm scared to do so, hence why I am here.

So I have been struggling with this for quite some time, about 15 years now. I am still living at home with my mom, step-father passed a few years ago, so I am very close to the former. Got a few best friends in my life, however I have never discussed this with them as I am afraid of how they will react. It started when I was in my teenage years and continued from there. When I was around 13, 14 I developed a minor attraction to children. At the beginning I didn't think much of it, thinking it would go away, but as the years went by, these urges became much more. I initially repressed the feelings and asked god to take away, and I thought he had. When I grew older, the people I was attracted to stayed the same age. I always wanted to find a group for support, but there aren't any, and I can understand why. We are the most hated in all of society. I have never acted upon my attraction, nor will I ever. And I have never done anything illegal and don't plan to. Am I a peadophile? I obey the laws and respect and agree with society's position on it, and those sort of people. I was meant to go to a therapist about this, but in the end I backed out and never went due to the fear of being reported. Is there any way for this to go away? I am not afraid of commiting any crime, as I have controlled myself for so long. I consider myself a good Christian, and regulary go to church. Why is this happening to me? If there is hate replies, I understand why. Is there any type of counseling that one can go to where I remain anonymous, and I can get treated for this mental disorder?

Re: Am I a pedophile?

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 2:39 pm
by talkhealth
Hello – there are certainly charities that can support you and also if you have family members that may also be keen to help you to. We would suggest you contact STOP IT NOW - https://www.stopitnow.org.uk/ - a great organisation that has a lot of experience in this area and will be able to support and guide you.

Re: Am I a pedophile?

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2020 9:33 am
by MissCandyGirl
That is awful for you: you've obviously got a conscience. Your attraction to young people may stem from your own childhood. Are there any instances where you yourself were the victim of someone also attracted to children? I am NOT saying you were raped, but perhaps something in your past triggered these feelings.

I do realize everyone has sexual feelings: and you're no different in that regard. But you are obviously deeply disturbed by these feelings. And also your therapist won't report you. I do think you could possibly have a mental health issue. Fancying children and raping them is a crime. So you're right about your approach to not hurt anyone.

Nothing can make these feelings go away BUT you can be brave and tell a therapist.