Bereavement and Illness
Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2020 12:12 pm
Hi All
This is the first time I'm doing something like this so bare with.
Since I was 11, I've had 6 operations down below, and to be fair to myself, I've bottled it up and kept that lid closed. In 2020, particularly this week, I don't know what has happened but I'm finding myself asking, why do I want to be here anymore. My story continues:
I was admitted twice into A&E as I was mis-diagonsed. Turns out that there is so much blood being pumped that my sperm is overheating, meaning that in the future, I probably won't be able to have children. On top of that, (and you will hopefully get me if you have a pet), my 15 year companion was going into heart failure. I made the decision to put him down on Friday. I was basically my cats carer, needed 9 tablets a day for the last 2 months, but was also the one constant I could talk too. I would be relieved of all stress. Now he's gone, I'm thinking I can't cope - but I also know deep down that this isn't the case.
I havent a clue what to do. I am the support pillar for the family. Last year I cared for my mum who went through cancer and thankfully is in remission this year, but I just keep getting knocked down. Do I even have a mental health issue or am I blowing things up way out of proportion?
This is the first time I'm doing something like this so bare with.
Since I was 11, I've had 6 operations down below, and to be fair to myself, I've bottled it up and kept that lid closed. In 2020, particularly this week, I don't know what has happened but I'm finding myself asking, why do I want to be here anymore. My story continues:
I was admitted twice into A&E as I was mis-diagonsed. Turns out that there is so much blood being pumped that my sperm is overheating, meaning that in the future, I probably won't be able to have children. On top of that, (and you will hopefully get me if you have a pet), my 15 year companion was going into heart failure. I made the decision to put him down on Friday. I was basically my cats carer, needed 9 tablets a day for the last 2 months, but was also the one constant I could talk too. I would be relieved of all stress. Now he's gone, I'm thinking I can't cope - but I also know deep down that this isn't the case.
I havent a clue what to do. I am the support pillar for the family. Last year I cared for my mum who went through cancer and thankfully is in remission this year, but I just keep getting knocked down. Do I even have a mental health issue or am I blowing things up way out of proportion?