Someone help me please, what's wrong with me

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marietic
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri May 24, 2013 1:28 am
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by marietic on Fri May 24, 2013 1:41 am

Someone help me please, what's wrong with me

I'm a 19 year old female, and I feel like I'm crazy. I feel like I can't think sometimes like my brain is a blank empty space, I can't make decisions easily , I feel like I've forgotten everything in my last unless I really try and then my brain plays tricks on my and will just not let me remember. My mum and dad had quite a messy divorce that fell very hard onto my shoulders as the eldest at 15 I was comforting my dad, heading horrible bitchy stories about my mum and hearing my da day he was suicidal really fucked me up, what was worse is I have never told anyone or fully spoken about it, and when my dad used to tell me all that was going on I'd have to pretend I didn't know and bottle up whatever I was feeling or thinking and just get on with life with my mum.

Any way at night time I get an overwhelming sense of depression, where I think about all these things, I've had an eating disorder on and off since I was 13, and deep depression at times on my life.
I soothe myself and send myself to sleep my fantasising about suicide, mainly jumping off a cliff or building.

I know it's alot to expect anyone to of read all of that but if by chance you did, what's wrong with me? What do I do?

anonymousgirl
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 31, 2013 6:38 pm
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by anonymousgirl on Wed Jul 31, 2013 7:07 pm

Re: Someone help me please, what's wrong with me

I can relate to a lot of what you have wrote. I also have a problem with concentrating and remembering the littlest of things which makes things very difficult seeing as I am still in school. I think that I may be suffering from depression if you read my post called 'Am I alone?' so maybe you are too if I am right about that. Also my parents split when I was 15 which was very traumatic for me and I know how difficult it is to hide things from the other parent when you know things and it plays on your mind a lot. Maybe you are feeling like this because of your parents divorce, things like that can really affect a person. I think the best advice I can give you is that you talk to a friend or family member or if you can't tell them then write it down because the sooner you get help the better because I know how overwhelming it can be to go through this alone. The only way forward is to tell someone how you are feeling. Also when you feel suicidal just stop and think who you would upset and how much of your life you would be throwing away and have you tried everything you can? Suicide should never be an option even as a last resort there is always something you can do. I know that I am younger than you but I hope that this has helped to know that you are not alone.

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