Personal Behaviour

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GilBibbs
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jan 04, 2020 10:05 pm
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by GilBibbs on Sat Jan 04, 2020 10:28 pm

Personal Behaviour

hello reader

firstly ill say Im not really sure if this is the right are to post to but im gonna do it anyway and hope to get some insight into things .

I work away from home a lot and I can be away for lengthy periods of time but luckily for me my partner lives close to my area of work ( London ) now im finding that when im away from home my life and overall health is so much better, im also more driven and ambitious. its like a completely different personality and behaviour .

then when I go home its completely the opposite and I become very self destructive , lazy and have no drive at all . due to the social circle of people I know and the area its not easy to avoid but ive noticed the changes in myself , my behaviour and personality.

Is this down to the changes in the two enviroments or is this down to something mentally ?
how do i go about changing things to improve like when im away ?

Im not self destructive when im away and its like im two different people

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talkhealth
Posts: 1759
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:29 pm
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by talkhealth on Mon Jan 06, 2020 1:07 pm

Re: Personal Behaviour

Hi,

Sorry you are going through this. It must be very confusing and difficult to work out why you are feeling this way. Perhaps you should consider discussing how you are feeling with a Health Professional or Registered Counsellor?

Although we can not give out specific medical advice, there are lots of resources here on the talkhealth website. In particular, this blog may be of interest to you. http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/bl ... -kindness/

Let us know how you get on,

Regards,

talkhealth
talkhealth team

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MissCandyGirl
Posts: 264
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2019 6:11 pm
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by MissCandyGirl on Sun Jan 12, 2020 10:08 pm

Re: Personal Behaviour

I'm sorry you're going through this: behaviour does change during times of stress and stress can make you lash out and just be aggressive generally speaking. I appreciate it is hard for you, but finding an outlet for your frustration - and grief, even - is the only way forward. I think talking to a registered counsellor and finding out why you're feeling such things and are under such stress is key to saving your relationship. You live a turbulent life, from what I can gather. I do also think if you feel you're out-of-control and could hurt someone, then it IS essential you talk about your feelings and experiences in your life that has led you to this. I don't know if you use domestic violence, but if you do, you must feel terribly guilty afterwards. That isn't guilt I don't think you want to live with. You are having a lot of stress and - again - need to find some way to release it.

A counsellor or therapist will help you understand yourself better and deal with that rage and the grief without hurting anyone.

dylouis85
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2021 12:43 pm
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by dylouis85 on Mon Apr 26, 2021 12:54 pm

Re: Personal Behaviour

I think this is totally normal man. Home is a "comfortable" place, and people tend to slip into bad habits, you're for sure not alone. I have many friends who used to work at home and instead pay to rent an office outside of the house, they simply weren't being productive.

For sure there's what to think through, why the home does this to you, a lot of character growth can come from talking this through with some good people. But practically speaking, there's no issue here just limit your time at home!

MissCandyGirl
Posts: 264
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2019 6:11 pm
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by MissCandyGirl on Sat Sep 25, 2021 8:03 pm

Re: Personal Behaviour

I agree that bad habits can happen when at home: because - after all - home is a comfortable place where a person can generally get away with their bad habits. In a professional environment, the man has to be - well - professional. [Of course women at work also have to be professional.]

Realising that the man's wife should never take the brunt of his stress at work is important. However, not all wives are victims of domestic violence: some women won't tolerate it and will soon put houserules in place. Being too comfortable where you feel like you can lash out and be very nasty is a recipe for disaster. Not all women will put up with it. And I don't mean that as a threat in any way: because if there is lack of mutual respect in a relationship, then that is for the couple to deal with together.

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