Depression and mid life crisis

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Underworld74
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Aug 16, 2020 4:06 pm
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by Underworld74 on Sun Aug 16, 2020 4:17 pm

Depression and mid life crisis

I have had depression for the past few months, I am mid forties. It centres around the fact I now regret not having children. I had been generally happy until the year, but the regret runs deep and my wife thinks it is just a 'phase'. My other half had an abortion a decade ago, I feel so angry now about that and child that might have been. She didn't want a baby. We could have made great parents I feel, and I just feel hollow and empty. Maybe I should move one, and have a child with someone else. Any one else with a similar story?

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talkhealth
Posts: 1759
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:29 pm
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by talkhealth on Wed Aug 19, 2020 9:57 am

Re: Depression and mid life crisis

Hi Underworld74,

Sorry to read of your depression regarding your regret at not having children. We hope that you will receive some replies from our other members who may be experiencing similar feelings to you. It may be worth considering a short course of counselling to talk through your feelings? Please find some info here:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/counselling/

Kind regards
talkhealth
talkhealth team

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dylouis85
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2021 12:43 pm
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by dylouis85 on Mon Apr 26, 2021 12:52 pm

Re: Depression and mid life crisis

Hey brother,
you shared some very hard feelings here and I really thank you for it.
I had a thought, and I know this doesn't solve all of the problems, but maybe think of this.
I work in the social sector, with families and children from broken homes, parents that maybe should have never been parents.
If you think you can be a good father, there are kids out there who need you.
I know you might feel it's "just not the same," but the fact is, for some kid out there, it is.
And if you like to think of things in a spiritual sense, I don't think there could be a greater way of truly fathering someone then to take them in.
It's not easy, and being 40 with a young child won't help things, but it sounds like you could do it.
Be well man,
DY

MissCandyGirl
Posts: 264
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2019 6:11 pm
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by MissCandyGirl on Mon Jun 21, 2021 8:49 am

Re: Depression and mid life crisis

That's tough. After a year how are you feeling? How have things panned out?

It sounds - at the time - you desperately wanted children. I hope you got your wish. I write this because - even though I am a woman - I still feel the same as you. Not having kids makes me feel empty and lost. I really want to have two daughters. Not being with the right person makes this difficult.

I would like an update on your situation and just to know how you're feeling after a year since your original post.

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