mental health. whats the matter with me?
Moderator: talkhealth
mental health. whats the matter with me?
Hello. I am a 25 year old female and was wondering if i could get an opinion if i should maybe visit my GP or not, i don't know if i have a problem or not anymore.
Basically i'm having a great deal of trouble controlling my behaviour at times. More recently over a number of months i have been behaving extremely recklessly, more so than usual and it is having a detrimental effect on my life. I always used to be careful with money for instance but now i just spend the lot, without thinking, act in a totally stupid way because i think everything is fine, for instance going out getting too drunk and making an idiot out of myself but feeling great. I have also been driving a lot and speeding and my mood is all over the place. i get very frustrated with stupid things and get angry. i've been starving myself, pushing all my family and friends away. i cant seem to remember anything anymore. then after the episode of erratic behaviour i get really depressed and hate myself. the most recent time when that happened i stopped going out for an entire month. its like i dont realise what im even doing at the time then reality hits. from this my relationship has ended and ties with my friends have become very strained. i dont feel like a person anymore and i dont even know who i am. i also cant sleep properly because when i go to bed i get overwhelmed with dispair over the thought of death. I Also sometimes feel like im going to die when i try to sleep, my ears start ringing and i cant move and it feels like theres evil ghosts in my room, once i felt something sit on my chest and it is terrifying but i cant move or scream. this happens multiple times a night, now im starting to hallucinate faces and the sound of a tiny fly. i go from feeling excited over nothing at all and feeling really good to being in utter despair where i feel sick at myself. i also cant judge things correctly anymore and i cannot make the simplest of descisions, like what do i want to eat? i dont know if i really do know what i want because i find my thoughts hard to trust.
but the feelings of dispair and excitement and happiness and being lonely are all starting to become merged and i feel these emotions all at the same time. i am also a self harmer and have been for many years.
sometimes i just think everybody would be happier and life would be better if i wasn't here
i can also guarantee i'll see this tomorrow and wonder what on earth was i thinking because im even starting to feel happy again now.
thanks for listening to my drivel..
Basically i'm having a great deal of trouble controlling my behaviour at times. More recently over a number of months i have been behaving extremely recklessly, more so than usual and it is having a detrimental effect on my life. I always used to be careful with money for instance but now i just spend the lot, without thinking, act in a totally stupid way because i think everything is fine, for instance going out getting too drunk and making an idiot out of myself but feeling great. I have also been driving a lot and speeding and my mood is all over the place. i get very frustrated with stupid things and get angry. i've been starving myself, pushing all my family and friends away. i cant seem to remember anything anymore. then after the episode of erratic behaviour i get really depressed and hate myself. the most recent time when that happened i stopped going out for an entire month. its like i dont realise what im even doing at the time then reality hits. from this my relationship has ended and ties with my friends have become very strained. i dont feel like a person anymore and i dont even know who i am. i also cant sleep properly because when i go to bed i get overwhelmed with dispair over the thought of death. I Also sometimes feel like im going to die when i try to sleep, my ears start ringing and i cant move and it feels like theres evil ghosts in my room, once i felt something sit on my chest and it is terrifying but i cant move or scream. this happens multiple times a night, now im starting to hallucinate faces and the sound of a tiny fly. i go from feeling excited over nothing at all and feeling really good to being in utter despair where i feel sick at myself. i also cant judge things correctly anymore and i cannot make the simplest of descisions, like what do i want to eat? i dont know if i really do know what i want because i find my thoughts hard to trust.
but the feelings of dispair and excitement and happiness and being lonely are all starting to become merged and i feel these emotions all at the same time. i am also a self harmer and have been for many years.
sometimes i just think everybody would be happier and life would be better if i wasn't here
i can also guarantee i'll see this tomorrow and wonder what on earth was i thinking because im even starting to feel happy again now.
thanks for listening to my drivel..
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talkhealth
- Posts: 1782
- Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:29 pm
Re: mental health. whats the matter with me?
Hello Amelie - you will see that our charity partner, Mental Health Foundation, have given you some information in the thread you posted in the mental health forums - viewtopic.php?f=112&t=3404. In due course our experts here will also add to this and provide you with some help.
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Dr Johanna Herrod
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2012 10:21 am
Re: mental health. whats the matter with me?
Dear Amelie,
Things certainly sound as if they are a mess for you at the moment!
With your history of self harming are there any Behavioural Strategies or medications that have been of help that may be of help now in the immediate term? I would book an appointment with your GP and request a Specialist referral (Psychiatry) for a full assessment of your mood difficulties. With regards to your Sleep Problems I think these are more likely to be a reflection of your current mood state rather than a Primary Sleep disorder. You describe what sounds like Sleep Paralysis which is not uncommon in your age group (15-40% of under 30’s). It is extremely scary and results in significant anxiety symptoms. The vivid-dream like experiences around the time of sleep onset (Hypnagogic Phenomena) is most likely to be a reflection of your current distress. Adoption of good Sleep Hygiene would benefit. Dietary recommendations include: limiting r eliminating use of caffeine, alcohol and nicotine and avoiding large meals before bedtime. Exercise in the morning may also help.
I do hope that you are able to access the help you need.
Kind regards Dr Johanna J Herrod
Things certainly sound as if they are a mess for you at the moment!
With your history of self harming are there any Behavioural Strategies or medications that have been of help that may be of help now in the immediate term? I would book an appointment with your GP and request a Specialist referral (Psychiatry) for a full assessment of your mood difficulties. With regards to your Sleep Problems I think these are more likely to be a reflection of your current mood state rather than a Primary Sleep disorder. You describe what sounds like Sleep Paralysis which is not uncommon in your age group (15-40% of under 30’s). It is extremely scary and results in significant anxiety symptoms. The vivid-dream like experiences around the time of sleep onset (Hypnagogic Phenomena) is most likely to be a reflection of your current distress. Adoption of good Sleep Hygiene would benefit. Dietary recommendations include: limiting r eliminating use of caffeine, alcohol and nicotine and avoiding large meals before bedtime. Exercise in the morning may also help.
I do hope that you are able to access the help you need.
Kind regards Dr Johanna J Herrod
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PMDDSurvivor
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2012 12:52 pm
Re: mental health. whats the matter with me?
Hi Amelie,
Can I ask if there's a pattern to your behaviour? I suffered very similar symptoms to yourself for many years and eventually discovered it was to do with my hormones. Can I suggest that you get a diary and chart your symptoms and see if there is a pattern develops. If so, it could be that you are suffering from premenstrual syndrome (PMS) or the more severe form premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). It may not be an hormonal disorder but it's worth charting to see if there's a pattern. If it turns out that there is, then there are people and places who can help you. Just search Google for links. (Not sure if I can post a link so will suggest Google for now). All the best in your journey for good health. Jennie
Can I ask if there's a pattern to your behaviour? I suffered very similar symptoms to yourself for many years and eventually discovered it was to do with my hormones. Can I suggest that you get a diary and chart your symptoms and see if there is a pattern develops. If so, it could be that you are suffering from premenstrual syndrome (PMS) or the more severe form premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). It may not be an hormonal disorder but it's worth charting to see if there's a pattern. If it turns out that there is, then there are people and places who can help you. Just search Google for links. (Not sure if I can post a link so will suggest Google for now). All the best in your journey for good health. Jennie
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