depression
Moderator: talkhealth
depression
Hi, I have been very depressed lately and I don't really know what to do it is making my college attendance really bad. I got kicked out of my mums when i was 17 due to there not being enough room after younger siblings and I now live by myself which is very stressful and lonely, I often have negative thoughts at night and I have done since I was very young, I have had suicidal thoughts since very young too and have self-harmed. I am in a very violent relationship and it is mostly me that's violent, causing me to become physically abusive. On the other hand, when I am happy i am very happy, talkative bubbly and love life then I have really bad stages where all hope and motivation is lost and i wont leave my house, and I have thought that I may have some sort of mental illness and haven't gone to the doctors yet as I feel ashamed. What should i do, I can't take being like this any more, Thanks.
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Gary Turner
- Posts: 107
- Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:04 am
Re: depression
Hey Chelsea, hope you are well. I feel for you!!
Please have a read of my other posts here - particulary in respect to the PTSD and stress posts - there is a information there which will help you understand how you are right now. Well, the 'structure' of it anyway.
Again, you've learnt to be this way, so you can learn to be different. The moment I hear of someone who mentions 'suicide' I immediately say get yer butt over to someone experienced with working with clients who have these kind of thoughts. Do not pass go, do not collect £100, go straight there now!
Hey, what you doing still here? Get some help!
The world will be a better place with you, than without you. So let's give you some info that may well help, and after reading this, hopefully you will get that help.
These negative thoughts that you've had since you are quite young represent part of your personality - the part that has learnt how to be that way. You will have had a direct experience, seen it someone else, or even learnt it through media or other sources. But you would have learnt to be that way - and as such, you can learn to be different. You may not see this yet, though you will when you get with an experienced person.
Violent and physically abusive - sounds like someone is suffering from temper (external expression of anger) or even rage (uncontrolled external expression of anger!).
Anger is when someone has broken your personal rules. Stop. Think, was I angry before this happened? Take your mind back before the event, and your anger will dissipate. You can then start to work out exactly what rule was broken, what you can do in order to stop it happening again, and start to think "how can I handle it better in the future?". After all, if you are calmer, you are much better placed to deal with it and solve the problem in your favour.
Also, understand that it is your rule that is broken, not necessarily someone elses. They may not understand why you are angry. After all, their rule hasn't been broken. Doing the process in my last paragraph can help you understand your own rules. Once you understand your own rules you will be able to communicate them - and stop the rules being broken.
The negative thoughts can be changed - get with someone experienced to help you. The negative thoughts are 'looking out for you' yet going about it the wrong way - have you thought about that they just want you to be happy? How about asking these thoughts to tell you what you need to be doing to be happy, rather than telling you what makes you unhappy?
Shame - anxiety - anger. The three classic supporting structures of depression. Break one of them - let go of the shame, learn to be calm, be controlled when your rules are broken - and the cycle cannot be sustained.
Mental illness? Nah, you're just not on top form - yet. Don't be ashamed - the majority of my clients come to me with anxiety and depressive issues, even if not apparent at first. Doctors see them all the time. If you see your doctor, don't just accept drugs, push hard - really hard - to see a professional experienced in your issues. Or even better just source one yourself and go back in.
You can't take being like this anymore, so give yourself a clip round the ear and a kick up the bum, get some movement, and get some help. I LOVE seeing clients like you - I really do. I know I can help you become the person you want to be and I'm always sooooo pleased that my client has taken the steps to take action. If you don't take action, you stay the same. Go on, take some action.
Oh, also, if you want, if you are suffering from procrastinitis about this - or 'inflammation of the lazy gland', I can deliver my AKT for you. Pay me £50, and bend over. I will use my years of experience to work out exactly the run up required, pace it back, and then deliver the exact kick up the arse you need, giving you that right step forward you need. AKT. Arse Kicking Therapy. Motivation guaranteed.
Hopefully now you're smiling - so take that smile, keep moving, and go get some help. You'll be soooo pleased you did!
Please have a read of my other posts here - particulary in respect to the PTSD and stress posts - there is a information there which will help you understand how you are right now. Well, the 'structure' of it anyway.
Again, you've learnt to be this way, so you can learn to be different. The moment I hear of someone who mentions 'suicide' I immediately say get yer butt over to someone experienced with working with clients who have these kind of thoughts. Do not pass go, do not collect £100, go straight there now!
Hey, what you doing still here? Get some help!
The world will be a better place with you, than without you. So let's give you some info that may well help, and after reading this, hopefully you will get that help.
These negative thoughts that you've had since you are quite young represent part of your personality - the part that has learnt how to be that way. You will have had a direct experience, seen it someone else, or even learnt it through media or other sources. But you would have learnt to be that way - and as such, you can learn to be different. You may not see this yet, though you will when you get with an experienced person.
Violent and physically abusive - sounds like someone is suffering from temper (external expression of anger) or even rage (uncontrolled external expression of anger!).
Anger is when someone has broken your personal rules. Stop. Think, was I angry before this happened? Take your mind back before the event, and your anger will dissipate. You can then start to work out exactly what rule was broken, what you can do in order to stop it happening again, and start to think "how can I handle it better in the future?". After all, if you are calmer, you are much better placed to deal with it and solve the problem in your favour.
Also, understand that it is your rule that is broken, not necessarily someone elses. They may not understand why you are angry. After all, their rule hasn't been broken. Doing the process in my last paragraph can help you understand your own rules. Once you understand your own rules you will be able to communicate them - and stop the rules being broken.
The negative thoughts can be changed - get with someone experienced to help you. The negative thoughts are 'looking out for you' yet going about it the wrong way - have you thought about that they just want you to be happy? How about asking these thoughts to tell you what you need to be doing to be happy, rather than telling you what makes you unhappy?
Shame - anxiety - anger. The three classic supporting structures of depression. Break one of them - let go of the shame, learn to be calm, be controlled when your rules are broken - and the cycle cannot be sustained.
Mental illness? Nah, you're just not on top form - yet. Don't be ashamed - the majority of my clients come to me with anxiety and depressive issues, even if not apparent at first. Doctors see them all the time. If you see your doctor, don't just accept drugs, push hard - really hard - to see a professional experienced in your issues. Or even better just source one yourself and go back in.
You can't take being like this anymore, so give yourself a clip round the ear and a kick up the bum, get some movement, and get some help. I LOVE seeing clients like you - I really do. I know I can help you become the person you want to be and I'm always sooooo pleased that my client has taken the steps to take action. If you don't take action, you stay the same. Go on, take some action.
Oh, also, if you want, if you are suffering from procrastinitis about this - or 'inflammation of the lazy gland', I can deliver my AKT for you. Pay me £50, and bend over. I will use my years of experience to work out exactly the run up required, pace it back, and then deliver the exact kick up the arse you need, giving you that right step forward you need. AKT. Arse Kicking Therapy. Motivation guaranteed.
Hopefully now you're smiling - so take that smile, keep moving, and go get some help. You'll be soooo pleased you did!
Gary Turner
Advisor to British Army School of Physical Training, World Champion Elite Sportsman
http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... turner.php
Advisor to British Army School of Physical Training, World Champion Elite Sportsman
http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... turner.php
Re: depression
Hahaha, Thanks a lot Gary means a lot. Will do my best to please you 
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Gary Turner
- Posts: 107
- Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:04 am
Re: depression
My pleasure!
Don't worry about pleasing me - you're the most important person in your life, time to put yourself first. Time to please yourself
Don't worry about pleasing me - you're the most important person in your life, time to put yourself first. Time to please yourself
Gary Turner
Advisor to British Army School of Physical Training, World Champion Elite Sportsman
http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... turner.php
Advisor to British Army School of Physical Training, World Champion Elite Sportsman
http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... turner.php
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Wendy Green
- Posts: 159
- Joined: Thu May 24, 2012 11:27 am
Re: depression
Hi Chelsea,
The mood swings you describe could indicate that you're suffering from bipolar disorder; I really think you should discuss this with your doctor.
To help your balance your moods in general I recommend that you start taking good care of yourself; eat a healthy, balanced diet with plenty of protein foods e.g. chicken, fish - especially oily fish, eggs and lean meats, as well as wholegrains, fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds; these foods supply all of the nutrients you need for a healthy mind and body. Take regular exercise - green exercise i.e. exercise in a green space such as walking or jogging in a park, or in the countryside, is particularly beneficial for mental health. You could also practise relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation - for tips on how to meditate go to http://www.how-to-meditate.org
Take a long hard look at your life - are you doing the things that make you happy? Do you enjoy your college course? If not perhaps it's time to identify what would make you feel happy and fulfilled and to go for it.
I wish you well for the future
Wendy
The mood swings you describe could indicate that you're suffering from bipolar disorder; I really think you should discuss this with your doctor.
To help your balance your moods in general I recommend that you start taking good care of yourself; eat a healthy, balanced diet with plenty of protein foods e.g. chicken, fish - especially oily fish, eggs and lean meats, as well as wholegrains, fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds; these foods supply all of the nutrients you need for a healthy mind and body. Take regular exercise - green exercise i.e. exercise in a green space such as walking or jogging in a park, or in the countryside, is particularly beneficial for mental health. You could also practise relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation - for tips on how to meditate go to http://www.how-to-meditate.org
Take a long hard look at your life - are you doing the things that make you happy? Do you enjoy your college course? If not perhaps it's time to identify what would make you feel happy and fulfilled and to go for it.
I wish you well for the future
Wendy
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