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I have had some form of mental health problem in the past that I suspect was either depression or bipolar disorder i.e. failed suicide attempts and risky sex with strangers being the main issues. The suicide attempt wasn't really because I wanted to die but because I wanted someone to take notice of me and realise the pain I was feeling. This was about two years ago and I never addressed the problem. My mood and behaviour significantly affected my work at college and therefore my a-level results. Since then I have tried my best to put it behind me and forget about it but I am finding it quite difficult now and I'm not sure who to turn to.
At the moment my moods and feelings are extremely erratic and are affecting my relationship with my boyfriend. Sometimes I get into a very low mood for no reason at all and I can't bring myself out of it but then other times I'm very manic and can't stop talking even if I've got nothing to say. There never seems to be an 'inbetween'; I'm either bordering on feeling suicidal or like a whirlwind. I often feel like I'm not a real, functioning adult. Like I'm a child in an adult world and I feel very inadequate and scared when it comes to things like applying for jobs or even answering the phone because I'm not a proper person and I'm always worrying about what people think of me. I just want to sort my issues out because I feel I'm being held back too much by my past now
Thank you in advance for any replies!

Hi!!!! Thanks for posting!

I picked up straight away on this "This was about two years ago and I never addressed the problem."

Time to address the problem - the world will be a better place WITH you!! Get to your GP. Get to your local mental health team. Get to a private and relevantly experienced hypnotherapist, psychologist, CBTherapist or even a counsellor.

I could write a technical dissertation on what you have told me about yourself in your post - every word, every pronoun, every structure tells me soooo much. Here's the good news. Straight away I've spotted numerous entries into working with you, numerous structures for how you construct your issues. And if I can do that from your text here - imagine what your professional will do working with you one-to-one?

In other words, smile and have hope. Because lots of work can be done effectively and quickly for you. But time to take action, and take those steps - get the help.

In the mean time, do different things such as change your room around, change your routines, change your lunchtime, your route to work, get to the gym or even better out exercising in the fresh air (did you know some studies show exercise to be a more effective anti-depressant than drugs?) and generally break the patterns that you have been using. A change IS as good as a rest.

Smile, the moment you take action the easier you will be who you want to be

Hi Lilliangb,

It certainly sounds as though you could be bipolar. Bipolar disorder is characterised by mood swings ranging from depression to mania.

During the depressive phase sufferers feel very low, lethargic and possibly suicidal. During the manic phase sufferers feel high, are overactive and are likely to talk nineteen to the dozen and be full of expansive plans.

There are 3 forms (or degrees) of bipolar:

1. Bipolar 1 disorder - the mood swings with bipolar I can cause significant problems in your everyday life e.g. at school, at work and in your relationships. Manic episodes can be severe and can even put you in danger.

2. Bipolar 2 disorder - is less severe than bipolar I. While your mood may be elevated, and you may be irritable and notice some changes in how you function, you can still carry on with your normal daily life. Rather than full-blown mania, you will have hypomania, which is a less severe form of mania. In bipolar II, your periods of depression tend to last longer than periods of hypomania.

3. Cyclothymic disorder. Cyclothymic disorder, also known as cyclothymia, is a milder form of bipolar disorder. If you have cyclothymia, the hypomania and depression can still disrupt your life, but the highs and lows are less severe than they are in bipolar1 and 2.

The fact that you state: ' I often feel like I'm not a real, functioning adult' suggests to me that it's time you sought professional help; go and see your GP and ask for a referral to a mental health specialist; they will be able to give you a proper diagnosis and treatment - probably in the form of medication and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).

You can also help yourself by eating well and reducing your stress levels by taking time out to relax and taking regular exercise.

I hope you go and seek the help you need, so that you can get on with living your life to the full.

Best wishes,

Wendy