Living while dying

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frogger1966
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:40 am
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by frogger1966 on Sat Oct 12, 2013 6:11 am

Living while dying

I am extremely OCD and it has only continued to get worse with my growing health problems. My problem is that I am very sick due to botched medical test in 2011. I have always has OCD as far back as I can remember but in 2011 I lost about 7 months of time that I really do not remember and I am obsessing over it so bad because I am facing going through this again. I was on a feeding tube along with every other tube, vent, lines, etc... that I can not face another feeding tube in me. They are definitely not what someone with my severity of OCD would want as you want to clean it out constantly so instead of taking a tube I have decided on just letting things be as they are. No one seems to understand this but for my mental health I can see no other way. Because of my decline in health and lack of food I am also sleeping so much that I am beyond confused. This may not be a problem for some but for someone who is used to being awake nearly all the time this is driving me crazy as I can not remember going to sleep and get confused upon waking. My timing is off and I can not keep up and do not know what to do. Can anybody else help me with these problems?

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Gary Turner
Posts: 107
Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:04 am
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by Gary Turner on Sat Oct 12, 2013 10:28 am

Re: Living while dying

Hi, you've been going through it - I feel for you!!

Get some psych help for the following:

- Remove the negative emotions from the first experience. This will allow your memories to move forward to the present, rather than being stuck in all the negativity of the first experience.
- To work with your OCD. They'll help you find that exit from the loop, reframe that self-talk and everything that drives you to the repeated behaviour, and generally help you get through it quite nicely.
- Work on eating more food, in a more appropriate way
- Set 'future memories' of exactly how you want to be. Think 'mental rehearsal' that sportspersons do - they're setting future memories as reference points for their performance. You can do the same. Imagine everything going simply, effortlessly, time just flying by, so you are healthy and happy again now.

As always your doc will help refer you to an appropriate person, or of course you can seek one out privately. I would suggest (based on your short post only) that the psych is the primary route for you to take, and I know that the other experts here will be able to help you to quite nicely achieve better nutrition for example.

I really hope this helps, but gain some movement towards where you need to be! No movement, more of the same...or have some movement and get towards where you want to be. Give your docs a shout.
Gary Turner
Advisor to British Army School of Physical Training, World Champion Elite Sportsman

http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... turner.php

frogger1966
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:40 am
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by frogger1966 on Sat Oct 12, 2013 4:32 pm

Re: Living while dying

Thanks for the advice but some of it will not help me as the botched procedure was that the DR that did it ripped my esophageus out so I can not eat and believe me I see a counselor at least once a week and my psychiatrist monthly I am really in touch with what is going on but nobody I can find has been in my situation and they can not accept the fact that I am okay with my choice to live out my life in peace as a I am comfortable with the outcome as I rely on God for that but others just don't get my position. I have looked for a group that can help me help others get over their depression due to me dying. They just do not want to accept it before its too late.

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Gary Turner
Posts: 107
Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:04 am
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by Gary Turner on Sun Oct 13, 2013 1:44 pm

Re: Living while dying

Frogger!!!! <Hugs>

I understand better now. I'm so pleased you have your faith too.

It is worth pointing out that no-one has been in your situation, as only you are in the unique situation with the relationships that you have etc. Saying that, when I work with terminal cancer patients many come to terms and are at peace with themselves - yet how it is affecting others and their behaviour is what they find troublesome.

Hopefully the other experts will jump in on this as I am not directly aware of any groups that I can recommend, and they may be able to put you in the right direction.
Gary Turner
Advisor to British Army School of Physical Training, World Champion Elite Sportsman

http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... turner.php

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