How do you tackle the underlying issue?

[Lionheart]

Hi, most of my life I have experienced issues with my confidence after being bullied at school. I have spent years comfort eating and binging and as a result my weight has gone from one extreme to another and back again. I was 9 stone at my lightest and then weighed in at 24 stone 9lbs when I joined a slimming club at the start of 2013. I was at an all time low and hated being so big and the horrible comments other people made about my size. I have so far lost 12 1\2 stone and I think that I may have 1-2 stones left to loose. I am eating a lot healthier and haven't binged in over a year but loosing the weight hasn't fixed my underlying issues because I still hate how I look. I also no longer have my comfort eating to fall back on when I feel anxious or low. Physically I am a lot healthier and fitter and everyone says that I am a lot happier/more confident. I don't feel it because I feel more self conscious. Maybe I no longer know who I am because I have spent so long being the fat friend or trying not to be noticed? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Rachel Morris]

Hi Lionheart,

Do you talk with anybody about these feelings surrounding comfort eating and self esteem? You mention not having comfort eating to fall back on when you feel anxious or low. Perhaps it would be worth you talking about these feelings and why you miss turning to food to alleviate your feelings.

Beat have some peer support groups for people to talk with others about what they are going through. They are self referral and are for people aged 18 and over. It may be a way for you to explore all the underlying emotional issues surrounding your weight and an opportunity for you to seek support from others who relate to you

The groups can be found on our website http://www.b-eat.co.uk/ along with all the information you need.

If you need any more advice and support please email eosg@b-eat.co.uk

Good Luck on your journey Lionheart.

[Jessie Pavelka]

First of all you are doing absolutely amazingly. You are an inspiration to so many people who have yet to find their way.
It's a funny thing because there are two parts to this whole equation. You have the physical side which you seem to understand because you have conquered it and made it a part of your life. But then there's this other part that gets unnoticed and it's the inside - it's our minds.

Our minds have to be exercised just like our bodies - they have to be programmed. Just by doing things such as affirmations ( a repetitive, positive statement) you make yourself a little bit stronger and you take what would be a negative moment and flip it on it's head.

Our brains are like Google search engines. What you put in that search engine is basically what you get - so you need to be really aware of what is going on in there. What are you saying about yourself? What are you saying about other people? Remember, there's a story that we create in our minds. Make yours one of great triumph. You are a strong individual and you've proven it.

Best

JP

[Adam Eason]

Hello Lionheart,

First up, you might like to read a reply of a similar (ish) ilk that I wrote previously on another thread here:
viewtopic.php?f=547&t=5553&p=16308#p16308

I think much of what I wrote there is relevant here - the past does not have to dictate your future, and some of the cognitive distortions you have written about here are bound to make you feel lousy if you keep thinking and believing them.

Have a read and let me know if you have any further questions or queries.

Most importantly, I send you my very best wishes as you move forward, Adam.