wanting sex less frequently

Ask our panel of medical experts your questions about all aspects of sex and relationships, sexual identity, harmful situations (abuse, alcohol drugs in relation to sex) etc.

Moderator: talkhealth

Locked
3 posts
Felicity Star
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:46 pm
Quote

by Felicity Star on Mon Jun 08, 2015 10:20 am

wanting sex less frequently

recently my partner has wanted to have sex less frequently, I am unsure of the reasons for this and how to address this. Is there anything you would advise I look out for that may be causing this, or ways I can discretely bring this up in conversation....

thank you

User avatar
Dr Helen Webberley
Posts: 96
Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2015 10:31 am
Quote

by Dr Helen Webberley on Mon Jun 08, 2015 11:02 am

Re: wanting sex less frequently

Hello, thank you for your enquiry, it is something I am asked a lot. Would you mind telling me how old your partner is and whether he or she has any other health problems? How is your relationship? Have you managed to discuss this at all with each other? I look forward to hearing from you, Dr Webberley
Dr Helen Webberley
NHS GP and Director of www.MyWebDoctor.co.uk
MBChB MRCGP MFSRH DipGUM DipIPM
http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... berley.php

User avatar
Natasha Anderson
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Jun 10, 2013 2:16 pm
Quote

by Natasha Anderson on Wed Jun 10, 2015 3:49 pm

Re: wanting sex less frequently

Felicity Star wrote:recently my partner has wanted to have sex less frequently, I am unsure of the reasons for this and how to address this. Is there anything you would advise I look out for that may be causing this, or ways I can discretely bring this up in conversation....

thank you
Hi,
Discussing something like this can be challenging for couples who somehow over the years have developed a nonverbal sexual script, whereby sex just happens. Suddenly verbalising, talking about sex becomes a slightly intimidating thought. Like you have rightly suggested a calm conversation is definitely warranted here if your needs are not being met. I encourage you to set the scene making sure you have enough time to have this conversation i.e. phone on silent, TV off , try to limit interruptions. Be honest, express your concern, but be certain to own any statement you make. Avoid sentences that start with “you”, this sounds like blame, instead use “I”, “I feel like we get close less frequently, these days”.
Finally, this is not just about sex this is about your relationship and talking can also be an intimate experience.
Natasha
Natasha Anderson
Sexual Health Adviser and Psychosexual Therapist

http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... derson.php

Locked
3 posts