What is it with me?

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imaiqahhoney
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2013 3:52 pm
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by imaiqahhoney on Sun Oct 11, 2015 9:12 am

What is it with me?

Hi. I'm 34 years old last September. Been diagnosed with depression since i was 18 years old.. been on and off anti-depression and sleeping pills since then till now. Attempted suicide 8 times, the first 2 when i was 10 and 11. 6 times when i was 31 years old.

i always feel unloved and not belonging. But what baffles me.. as much as i hate being hurt both physically and mentally.. i always end up with the same people in my life.. be it my family or man.

i loathe being hurt but at the same time it give me comfort to feel being in the similar environment.. i know this is not healthy but as much as i try to run away from this box.. i stuck and most of the time run towards it..

i don't know what to do.. i end up hate myself cos i can't seems to change this.

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Wendy Green
Posts: 159
Joined: Thu May 24, 2012 11:27 am
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by Wendy Green on Sun Oct 11, 2015 8:22 pm

Re: What is it with me?

Hi,

I'm very sorry to hear about your problems with depression. The fact you feel unloved and that you don't belong suggests to me that you have low self-esteem. I think that once you tackle your low self-esteem you'll be able break the negative cycle that you currently find yourself in.

You mention taking anti-depressants and sleeping pills - but these are just masking your problems and not really helping you to deal with your issues and change your life for the better. I suggest you ask your GP if you can be referred for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). CBT will help you to tackle your negative thoughts about yourself and replace them with more positive ones; I've already written quite a lot about CBT in these two recent posts: http://bit.ly/1GDfb5k http://bit.ly/1jj5Drl

As I mentioned in these two posts you also need to take good care of yourself. Treat yourself kindly
and try to eat well and take regular exercise - again there's advice on healthy living in the two posts I've just mentioned.

Above all, stop hating yourself for not managing to improve your situation - accept yourself for who you are - warts and all - and remember that none of us are perfect!

I wish you well for the future.
Wendy Green
Health Expert and Author

http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... _green.php

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Karina Lovell
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Oct 07, 2015 12:38 pm
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by Karina Lovell on Mon Oct 12, 2015 3:58 pm

Re: What is it with me?

Hello and like Wendy I thank you for sharing your difficulties and sorry that life is difficult. I would also suggest that you go to your GP and seek a referral for a talking therapy to help manage your feelings, and also discuss with your GP your antidpressants - antidepressants can and do help many people and so I would suggest you discuss whether you are on the right antidepressant and on the right dose. A book that is very good for low self esteem is 'Overcomming low self-esteem' by Melanie Fennell. There are also lots of resources on the internet from MIND and other organisations. Depression can be a lonely place but there is lots and lots of help available.

I so hope you take the steps to speak to your GP and have a look at some of the resources available - and wish you all the very best in your recovery
Karina Lovell
Professor of Mental Health

http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... lovell.php

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Wendy Green
Posts: 159
Joined: Thu May 24, 2012 11:27 am
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by Wendy Green on Mon Oct 12, 2015 7:15 pm

Re: What is it with me?

HI,

Further to my response to your post yesterday - you might find my book '50 Things You Can Do Today to Boost Your Self-Esteem' helpful. Here is the link http://amzn.to/1K4wkoD It's full of effective tips and techniques to help you raise your self-esteem - including accepting yourself as you are, focussing on your strengths and positive traits and using positive self-talk, as well as taking good care of your physical wellbeing.

Best wishes for the future.
Wendy Green
Health Expert and Author

http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... _green.php

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Dr Helen Webberley
Posts: 96
Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2015 10:31 am
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by Dr Helen Webberley on Tue Oct 13, 2015 7:43 am

Re: What is it with me?

Hi there, thank you for your post. This is a problem that we see a lot, this self-destruction, and it is very sad. I agree with Karina and Wendy and I'm glad that you are seeking help and advice to break this habit. I wonder what your childhood was like, did you have a loving environment or was it a harmful and difficult time for you? Your GP and a therapist may be able to help you pick through your life and experiences and find out why you seek these kind of relationships. Best of all, you understand that you need to change and improve your life, and that is often the first step to happiness. I wish you all the best, Dr Webberley
Dr Helen Webberley
NHS GP and Director of www.MyWebDoctor.co.uk
MBChB MRCGP MFSRH DipGUM DipIPM
http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... berley.php

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