total lack of control,post rectocele operation

[Lucymc63]

Hi, New to forum but desparate for some support.
I had mild incontinence over the last few years- soiling myself when running, urgency, but with some degree of control- ie the ability to leave my classroom ( I am a teacher) and get to the loo, which I managed by life stlye- ie no coffee, not go for a run unless I was fairly sure my bowels were emppty. However the symptoms were getting worse nad referaal resulted in having a rectocele operationa nd a levator plasty. the aim being to improve the pelvic floor, remove the prolpase nd improve my life quality - I was constantly anxious about not getting tot he loo in time, literally shitting myself infront of the class.
The operation was eight weeks ago. I was constipated nad very uncomfrtable fro one week, When my bowels opened and since I have had no control. Usually I get goosebumps nad a sweat and my bowels evacuate. It doesn't matter whether my stools are loose or hard (I hav experimented by adjusting my diet.I am doing pelvic floor exercises, following a programme i purchased religiously. Pelvic floor tone nad movement is developing, but control of bowel movement has shown no improvement. For example as I got out of bed this morning I had an accident. Mortifying to have to pick your own pooh from the carpet infront of your children. I know wear nappies, but I am 51, hate wearing anything to bed.and nappies I have purchased are so uncomfortable, noisy, and totally humilating. I just want to cry writing this. I am having motions four times in the morning no average and probably three times in the afternoons.The surgeon, when I was readmitted post op said this wasn't the expected outcome, that rectum was smaller, hense frequent motions. But things are not improving.
I am due to go back to work on Monday. eight weeks ago I had a chance of representing my country in my sport now I can barely move and my life revolves around access to a toilet, and a wash basin, cos I simply never get there intime.
How can I cope with this in the classroom. Bearing in mind I simply can't walk out and leave a class unattended? Not to go to work... i wont get paid- I am starting a new job in a new school. At my wits end. Tactics and strategies to help until my body gets into a routine I can cope with .....
I am mortified about the position I find myself in. Not ashamed, not really embarrassed, but mortified. The operation was meant to enhance my quality of life instead I find myself restricted in EVERY aspect of my life. I have six children (three adults, and three in primary school, so struggling to maintain normality for them getting them to places and days out. as well as the concern of my own working future.
Oh GP says get back tot he surgeon, who told me a six week post op follow up, but chasing for this the clinics are all fully boked nad they aren't sending more appointments out until facilities become availalbe. Good on NHS! I can't afford to go private. SAd, Angry, optiisic?

[CazH]

Hi Lucymc63,

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through, you really are having such a tough time of things.

What was the rectocele op you had, if you don't mind me asking?

I have a Laparoscopic ventral mesh rectopexy, but for different reasons perhaps. I had chronic constipation with a full rectal prolapse, intussusception and rectocele. The op was botched up and I suffered complications too, and since then my pelvic floor is totally non-functioning. This was last year, and I've now had three ops this year (the most recent for an ileostomy, so I have a stoma). I don't have, and haven't had, the sort of urgency you've had (apart from with the constant laxatives I had to take before the last surgery).

I understand the frustrations with getting hold of your surgeon, but it is so important, especially the 6 week follow-up when you're struggling so much. It's ridiculous that they're not sending more appointments at the moment... Can you speak with the secretary directly and state how much you are struggling, perhaps put in a complaint if you're not being listened to? There's also PALS and other groups to make your voice heard and act as an advocate. Is a GP able to put in a referral elsewhere maybe, or a letter to the surgeon regarding your situation?

I just want you to know that you're not alone, and please do not give up hope. Sending hugs and positive thoughts your way...xx