Stoma operations and consequences

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dottymare
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jul 13, 2014 9:34 am
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by dottymare on Sun Jul 13, 2014 10:06 am

Stoma operations and consequences

Hi forgive me if Im out of order but I am absolutely gobsmacked, irritated, frustrated and angry at the lack of information and assistance given to newly diagnosed patients and their families of Stoma procedures and consequences. My 89 year old mother in law has (feb this year) undergone a bowel operation. At the time they thought it was cancer and didn't hold out much hope for her life. After her fading in and out of consciousness they decided to operate. The outcome was she is still alive and has undergone a stoma operation where they have to remove a piece of dead bowel due to a blood clot. So she has two joins if you will. She has been in and out of hospital since February in three different hospitals and in a nursing home because she cannot be free of infection. When the infection takes hold she is incontinent, delirious, seeing things and people and does not know where she is. Plus she cannot take the tablets. We are not sure what is infection now and what could be dementia but who do you ask. When the staff ask her if she wants painkillers and she says no, when I ask why they don't give them they say they cannot force her. Yet amazingly when she says yes she can do this and can do that, they say she is fine and does not need help. At 89 she has undergone her own private war with her body. My main groan is the bags. She is not able to fit, clean or affix them herself. Unfortunately, I am absolutely distraught because the smell makes me heave so I am of no use at all. It is also a regular occurrence 4 time this week, so far the bag has burst. My husband has to attend to this and clean her up. In all this time he has seen a stoma nurse once last Thursday, when he arranged this himself to be told he is or has been doing the thing totally wrong. We have only had a very old and sick 89 year old woman tell us how to do this. The bags are still breaking. The antibiotics were stopped on Friday and we are already seeing signs of the infection returning. She stops drinking. The hospital don't want her there they cannot cope. The nursing home does not want her there too much chance of her infecting the place and too much like hard work. No they don't come when she presses the buzzer. The first day in hospital some idiot left her on a commode on her own so obviously she fell off and whacked her head with bruising on her head and face. She is now at home alone, my husband (who is registered disabled) is caring for her. He is up and down (1.45am) this morning. Again now 9.00 (guess what, the bags burst). I am not sure who will go first, my husband or his mum. She doesn't want carers. She doesn't want to go into a home. She is at her home and is, "waiting for god". She cannot walk, she is being helped to walk but she hurtles off on the walking frame (which the physios at the hospital found highly amusing). Is this what this country has come to. There is no one to ask, doctors are asking her where she would like to go if she falls again, stay at home or go into hospital. Does she want to be revived. When she fell at the Nursing home they refused to pick her up until a hoist was found. She weighs 8 stone for gods sake. I am absolutely sick and disgusted at the NHS. If you care about what you do, do not work for the NHS its not the place to be. The attitude of following orders, not answering questions, avoiding telling the family, its like MI5. She is 89. In all honesty, the kindest thing for her now is death. I am a very caring and supportive person but when all the odds are completely against you, what do you do. For the record I work 5 days a week 9-5 and also registered disabled. If you have been through this and there must be millions, please speak out, don't suffer alone.

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