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Vaginal tear - WILL NOT HEAL!!

Postby shortone1988 on Wed May 08, 2019 12:43 pm

I’m 30 and I’ve been getting tears for a few years now. Prior to this I have been very sexually active since 21 and never had any issues. It began with my ex who is a tall stocky chap. 6ft6 and broad while I’m 5ft2. We tried everything to overcome it. Different positions, extra lube. Once he was inside the sex was completely fine as I relaxed and the area slightly numbed to the sensation, but it was the initial “here it comes” entry that was difficult. Sometimes him even just touching the entrance to my vagina was a huge “OW!!! No no no!!” I always tensed up with anxiety when the time came around which didn’t help the matter. It’s very hard to relax when you know you’re going to get a stinging sensation. Reverse cowgirl and some other positions too really helped but it started taking its toll on me that I couldn’t switch off to it and just jump straight into it. Certainly multiple sessions became a NO NO. Each time we had to prep for it and do a “brace yourself” sort of notion. Going to the toilet a few times after sex became painful too with stinging and bleeding. It took its toll on our relationship and we separated two years in. I started to associate sex with him as painful and it put me off. I visited a gyno and was advised to massage vaginal cream into the wound to keep it open, sort of stretch it out. It kept sealing up and then tearing again over and over. I tried that for a few months and no joy. If anything the repeat massaging caused it to continuously bleed and be irritated, as well as be in constant discomfort. Given that area, the wound is never dry enough to scab over and resealed due to legs always being close together. I’ve been tested for STI’s, changed diet, trialled coming off the pill to see if it helped my libido. TRIED EVERYTHING! No luck. It got to the point the area repeatedly teared while washing, sleeping in certain positions and stuff. I’ve recently had another gyno appointment and was suggested that I try a dilator for the next 5 weeks gradually each week going up a size in dilator to loosen me and get me more comfortable with average penis size entering. Sort of like ear stretching. I’ve started doing that and also looked into pelvic floor exercises to weaken the muscles. Over time I’ve tensed up with the anxiety of each sex session so often that I’ve tightened my pelvic floor muscles a huge amount which doesn’t help the situation. I believe weakening my pelvic floor will help me but that will take time. I’ve also looked into perineum massages that are recommended for pregnant women to prevent tears during labour. Again, early stages but I feel it could be beneficial long term. Am I doing the right thing?? I’m single and not looking to sleep with anyone for a while so thankfully it allows me a long time to train my body. At the end of the day I fear the tear will continue to seal and reopen regardless of how many stretches and pelvic floor work I do, which frustrates me – as I’m sure it would all of you. What I would like to know though is if there is any way of putting a form of sealant on the wound while it’s open to prevent it from constantly healing and reopening. Any ideas? Appreciate responses from anyone!!
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Joined: Wed May 08, 2019 12:40 pm

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