The every-day hum drum of life is OK. It’s the quiet times that get to me. The times when grief is close to the surface of my heart, and erupts in a harsh sob, that I can’t even tell the people closest to me about. It’s almost two years since Mom died, and I am reminded daily of her influence in my life. My love for family, animals, sport and gardening, colour and beauty, and fairness and justice for all.
I was prompted to write this prose: Time passing.
It was hot that July. The day we brought Mom back from the hospital.
“There’s nothing more we can do” they said.
Nurses rallied round, arranging things. A view of the garden would help, they said.
And so we waited.
Time passing. Going nowhere.
Until Mom’s final journey.
It’s nearly a year since my much loved Dad’s death, everyone else seems not to have noticed, but that’s probably not the case. As for me, I’m screaming internally and though I’m getting on with life, I feel totally disassociated from the real world. Time heals, I know that, but it hasn’t scratched the surface for me yet.
on February 21, 2014 at 9:03 am SamIt takes as long as it takes. Be strong and live your life to the full x.
on February 21, 2014 at 11:26 am LesleyIt’s only been 6 months since I lost my Mum fairly suddenly. I feel robbed as she was only 71! I miss her everyday and like you Lesley, I ‘get on’ with and enjoy life as much as I can and it’s easier when things are busy and there’s lots to do. But it’s in those quiet times, dreams at night, a piece of music when I realise I’m far from getting used to life without my Mum. Thankfully I’m very close to my sister and we talk openly about our loss. My teenage girls also talk about it with me and I have a very supportive partner. What’s interesting is I have a group of very supportive friends, but others who never even ask me how I am and how I’m coping. I find that odd. I’d rather thay asked than not, and at least I have the chance to either talk about it or just tell them I can’t talk about it today!
on February 21, 2014 at 11:52 am DeborahI have found writing this blog helps me to verbalise what I feel inside. It may be a bit personal at times, but I know that there are other people feeling the same way x.
on February 21, 2014 at 12:22 pm Lesley