No sex drive in menopause causing problems with marriage

[Nokomis E]

Hello. I wanted to find a safe forum where I could talk with other women about no/low sex drive in menopause and if it's causing problems with their marriage. It is for mine. My interest in sex has decreased quite dramatically these past few years. It's not just menopause - it's chronic pain, the loss of my parents (grief, depression), the fatigue, the dryness and discomfort, the change in my own sexual identity. I do not think this is an illness or a mental health problem. It's part of life. But my husband is getting frustrated waiting for me to take an interest in sex again. We've talked about it but he hasn't shifted his views. I've also had sexual trauma in my past - I've done a lot of work to heal from it, but this pressure I feel to be sexual again is triggering the trauma. It brings up the pain of thinking that's all I'm good for (sex). I know, it's a big complicated hot mess. I'm safe and stable for now. But I constantly worry this will lead to a divorce.

Most of the sites I read online make it sound like a decreased sex drive in a woman is an "illness" or "mental health problem". Not very helpful info when I want to find out if marriage can survive without sex. I love my husband. He's a good man for the most part - it's this sex thing is really straining our relationship.

Has any other woman gone through this? What has helped you have helpful conversations to get your partner to see things from your point of view? Is it possible to have a satisfying marriage/relationship without sex? Thank you for any guidance/stories/resources you can share.

[talkhealth]

Hi Nokomis E,

Thank you for sharing your concern about your loss of libido due to the menopause. Hopefully you will soon receive some replies from other members who may be having a similar experience.

You may be interested to know that from 2 - 13 March 2020 we will be having an online gynaecological clinic. Clinical experts will be available to answer any questions or worries there. Please find a link below for more information:

http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/on ... y_2020.php

Kind regards
talkhealth