Heartbreak after stalking a crush

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Sadbear1802047
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2020 3:21 am
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by Sadbear1802047 on Sat Nov 21, 2020 3:29 am

Heartbreak after stalking a crush

Hi guys...

Just want to let something off my chest, and talk to someone.... I have been feeling so bad these past few months it feels like my soul is being torn in two.

I am a guy and developed a huge crush (Person A) on my project group member last year. We have had good memories with one another as we have been friends for the past few years, but while doing the project she became increasingly distant from me, even losing her patience and snapping at me during a project group meeting for asking a question.

I then discovered shes been talking to another guy (Person B) from my course early in January. I know they both share an interest in a certain sport and go out together regularly to play the sport. I became anxious, and fearful and started stalking the both of them via social media, but most of all their Whatsapp online and offline timings. What I found broke my heart a thousand times over...

I found they talk almost everyday, because 1) whenever one goes online, the other follows soon after.
2) If one of them doesn’t come online quite often I have seen the other wont come online
3) If I found them online together, more often than not they go offline within seconds of each other, and sometimes only come online again when the other does . (I have seen them online together up to 12-2am at night and then they go offline around the same timing and do not come back online again.)
4) I have compared their timings with other people I know. No one else's online and offline timings match either of their timings as consistently as the both of them.
5) Lately I noticed the guy coming online on facebook even matches my crush coming online on whatsapp. ( eg. Just last night, “A” was offline for an hour from whatsapp, “B” had been online on facebook for about the same amount of time. The moment “A” came online on whatsapp, “B” was shown to be offline from facebook messenger 1minute before her online time. "B"'s whatsapp which had been offline for around an hour also came online a few minutes after "A" went offline from whatsapp. And this is not the first time I have seen this)

I became addicted to checking the timings, and have been doing so for the past year. And almost everytime I checked at least one of these 5 things occur. I have wasted so much time and energy on this obsession I genuinely feel like I am going insane.

Earlier this year, there were times I felt as if I could not take it anymore, so I asked around school friends. I asked friends of the “A”, friends of “B” and even person “B” himself twice. They all said that there was nothing going on between them. “B” even told his friend that “A” was not his type.

However, I would sometimes fall back to checking whatsapp again, and I would again see one of those 5 phenomenon listed above. My mind get obsessive again, I keep thinking that these things are way too coincidental and they must be meeting up in real life or talking and I start feeling sad all over again…. I keep thinking about what they could be talking about, how is it possible "A" whatsapp online and offline timings coincide so consistently with "B"s whatsapp and facebook timings?

I just want to vent it all out… Please don’t be unkind.. Sorry if the examples I gave are too confusing...

What do you guys think?

Do you all think there is anything going on between the both of them?

Have anyone of you gone through this before?

TookyTooker
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2020 10:00 am
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by TookyTooker on Tue Dec 08, 2020 1:26 pm

Re: Heartbreak after stalking a crush

Yeah, I felt the same when I was falling in love

MissCandyGirl
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2019 6:11 pm
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by MissCandyGirl on Wed Dec 09, 2020 10:35 pm

Re: Heartbreak after stalking a crush

You're not abnormal: surprisingly enough. Your crush, though, will actually push you further away if you continue to stalk her online. You won't attract her. I know she is seeing someone else - and the rejection hurts - BUT your actions could become noticed.

Having someone turn from you hurts: even more when you feel you love her. But your behaviour will repel her rather than attract her. You have to stop: as hard as that sounds. She is a free woman and there is nothing you can do to make her fall in love with you.

I'd see someone who understands these kinds of things and chat to them. It won't be easy letting go, but you've got to: for your sake, too. You must feel confused, jealous, hurt, upset... but stalking her won't help eradicate these feelings.

Please believe me, though: you're not alone. Loving someone who rejects you does hurt. Do please chat to someone about these feelings and try to see a different perspective.

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