Eczema and relationships help please

[Marcie Mom]

Hi Mitchel,

Sorry to hear of what you're going through.. I'm a mom with a toddler child, so I haven't gone through the adult eczema phase with her. Is your skin condition as good as it can get now or are you still seeking treatment to treat rash/flare-up? I can think of joining a support group and below is a sharing by an adult female on my blog, hope it kinda encourages:

Marcie Mom: How did your eczema affect your self-confidence?

Rebecca: During my school and university years my eczema was probably the biggest cause of anxiety for me. At school, I was called ‘porridge face’ and ‘E.T.’! Then in later years when friends all started using make-up, I was well and truly left behind. I couldn’t use anything on my skin except the big pot of white grease as prescribed by the doctor.

I think kids are actually much kinder these days; they seem to have a respect for others and a perception of people’s differences that seemed to pass people by completely in the 1970s. But, even so, the emphasis on appearance seems to have been heightened considerably in recent years – perhaps because we are ‘mis-sold’ an ideal of the perfect body by the media? The link between looking good and feeling good certainly seems to have taken hold.

According to a report in the UK, 60% of people have at one time or another felt ashamed of the way they look – and these are people with perfectly healthy skin. So, who can blame sufferers of eczema for wanting to hide away from the world. If folk with lovely stretchy, elastic, non flaky, non red skin are hiding themselves away because they don’t live up to the ideal – then, frankly eczema sufferers have a much better excuse.

Except, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that by withdrawing from the world, you are stirring up eczema symptoms and creating a situation for yourself whereby your condition is likely to get worse.

Two dermatologists from the US, Dr Richard Fried and Dr Fran Cook-Bolden have looked closely at the ‘Skin-Mind’ connection in the treatment of eczema. They have evidence that patients with eczema actually get worse when they are under times of depression or anxiety.

Not surprising to any of us who have had the inevitable eczema flare-ups around exam time, interviews, wedding days! But, while a withdrawal from public life might seem like the most comfortable option during really bad bouts of eczema, the sense of isolation that results from hiding away can contribute significantly to longer term depression.

The self-perpetuating viscous cycle that exists between skin and negative emotional states is a real problem and one that, if you can tackle and overcome to some degree can actually help and improve your eczema symptoms.

It has taken me nearly 40 years to get there myself and I know that it takes a massive effort to be confident with problem skin – lots of talking to yourself into things that you find uncomfortable.

But, take it from me, the pay-off is huge. I don’t know what my face will look like when I wake up in the morning, some days it’s fine but some days it looks like I’ve been stung by a swarm of bees and been given a chemical peel during the course of the night. But, one thing I can guarantee is that at least one day out of seven, I’m not going to look good.

So, after decades of hiding I have made a huge effort to break that link between looking/feeling good.

[abbyroad]

Dear Mitchel,

I was diagnosed with eczema when I was 21 years old. I spent months trying to figure out what it was before being diagnosed. Before that I was extremely confident and had no problem with women. After I first discovered the red bums and dry skin, weeks later I was fully covered all over my body. I was in a relationship when this happened and was afraid to tell my girlfriend. She eventually noticed and was there with me through months of no sleep and several attempts to stop the itching. I was lucky that she stuck it out with me and didn't care that I was covered with red bumps. It made my relationship even stronger and I realized that even though it was embarrassing to me she didn't care. I am now 23 and am still with my girlfriend and we have a beautiful little girl. I eventually after a year and a half of trial and error found a way to control it. I begun taking allergy shots and starting taking allegra D every day. I now rarely have an incident of break outs and have been fortunate that my eczema has not come back fully. Stay positive and keep trying to beat this disease. Stay confident and keep being your self. You will find someone that is going to support you and love you for you. Appearance is not what makes you. Your personality, attitude, values, and character MAKE YOU! I know the struggle and frustration can eat you alive and I have not experienced it as long as you and in no way am trying to say my situation was worse in anyway. But you will beat this and find a way to live your life the way you want. A quote that got me by through my struggles was from Tom Hanks, oddly enough. It was from the movie " A League of Their Own". The quote is related to baseball but I implemented to my battle with eczema. The quote is in the scene where the lead actress (don't know her name) wants to quit the team because it has become to hard for her. Tom Hanks replies, " The hard is what makes it great, if it was easy everyone would do it". We did not choose to have this disease but we can control our ability to fight through it and stay strong. I have not been battling as long as you but I did want to give up. I didn't and I am thankful for that everyday. You have been battling for a long time so don't stop now keep your head up and keep fighting.

Best Regards,

Blake