Anger Mangagement

[cnieno84]

Sometimes, I have these days that I get so upset and frustrated I don't know how to control my emotions. I am constantly going on and on about something that is senseless. But, I do this because I get a trigger and my heart is beating so I keep going cause I dont always stop. The only reason why I know when I have gone to far is being told to chill. It is normal to be told to calm down when you have depression and anxiety?

[Rachel Morris]

Dear Cnieno,

Please consider attending a Beat group to help you with your emotions and how this effects your relationship with food. At the groups you will be able to meet other people in similar situations and gain peer support and have the opportunity to discuss your experiences in a safe, confidential and stigma-free environment. If you feel that you need more help in regards to your depression and anger we can help to signpost you to the right professional help so that you can - with the help of others, identify these triggers and process them in other ways.

Please get in touch with Beat if you need more information.

[Gary Turner]

Hi, I feel for you!

This is something a skilled therapist can deal with – I see clients within my hypnotherapy with issues like this every week. Adam Eason has (in my opinion) the best hypnotherapy training school in the country – he’ll be able to help you find the right therapist in your area!

Anger is a base emotion. That emotion brings on physiological changes in the body, that we interpret as feelings. You will tense up and close off, and look to remove yourself from the stimulus that causes the negative emotion.

Anger is about the moment, and is about your personal rules being broken. It is held within as frustration, externally directed as temper, and externally directed uncontrolled as rage.

You have learnt to associate a trigger, which breaks your personal rules, with the emotion and results of anger.

You can learn to be different.

Firstly, the SECOND you notice yourself getting angry stop take a breath and let it go – this will relax you a little, literally giving yourself ‘breathing space’. Now think, was I angry before this happened? This will back your mind up in time to before the event. Before the event you weren’t angry, so you will calm down, and then you’re better placed to be able to deal with the rule that has been broken in a calm and controlled way…

Alternatively tell yourself to chill the moment you realise.

Anger is massively associated with depression and anxiety; it is quite a ‘standard’ psychological and behavioural response. They tend to come hand in hand.

Have a look at my self-help book on Anxiety here under Talk Health Freebies: http://www.talkhealthpartnership.com/freebies/

And consider booking in with someone skilled in dealing with what you are presenting. It is quite standard, and any skilled psych worker will be able to help you get through this, often quite quickly too.

Hope this helps!

[Adam Eason]

Hello there, I am sorry to read about your ongoing experience.

In addition to the support offered and mentioned here, you can seek out local support to help with depression and anxiety from the charities MIND and the Mental Health Foundation; both of whom offer support, advice and resources in most local areas or neighbouring towns. They also have helplines you can track down from the websites of these organisations (both of whom have been actively involved in other clinics here).

If you ever do consider seeking out a professional therapist (CBT or hypnotherapy, or both) then please do let me know and I can point out a couple of ways of seeking out a well-qualified, experienced therapist in your area. I have a bias as these are my fields, but think that these types of interventions aim to ensure that you are equipped to deal with these episodes, as well as lower the chances of them happening with as much prevalence.

There are many popular myths and misconceptions about anger; one being that you need to vent it to effectively deal with it - the type of model that assumes people are 'emotionally hydraulic' (i.e. if something is not brought out, it'll reappear as another type of problem or issue) - there is no evidence to support this, and to the contrary, some evidence suggests that continued ventilation of anger can be more detrimental to your health. learning how to deal with it, prevent it from occurring are the kinds of skills you'll learn from a qualified professional.

If you have any further questions regarding this, please ask away. Otherwise, I wish you the very best going forward and hope you find some relief.

With my very best wishes to you, Adam.