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17Nov

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed”- Ernest Hemingway.

A typewriter for Ernest yes. A laptop for Saz.

When it comes to writing everyone is entitled to an opinion it’s the how you address that opinion that’s most important.

As a youngster I thoroughly enjoyed reading however when I hit my teens it was like I’d hit a brick wall and had a bit of a lull when reading was concerned. My imagination couldn’t drift off the way I wanted to. Maybe it was because I was turning into a teenager more interested in her fashion than giving herself brain food!

This quote was forwarded to me by a good friend of mine who is currently writing her own material and is in fact extremely funny (check out my twitter site BlogSazzles for more) and puts into perspective her spin on various topics that although has a clear message doesn’t dismiss the elements of humour a good story should show.

My interpretation of Ernest’s quote is that when it comes to writing cutting down to the bare bones and explaining your thought pattern is something that you can (on the basis you enjoy reading it of course) enable you to explain what’s going on in your own mind and can in my case be extremely therapeutic.

Writing Sazzle’s blog enables me to not only provide my personal contribution to raise epilepsy awareness. It also gives readers of all ages the opportunity to see if they can associate with my actions and whether together we can unite and raise a clear message that although we suffer from a neurological condition we can also have our say.

If you aren’t all aware by now I’m not superhuman nor I could be if I tried.

I have plenty of traits that I’ve shared regularly on here such as coming out with what I call Sazisms (i.e saying humorous things and putting my foot in it without even realising), being ever so critical on myself to the point where I tire myself because I try to cram everything into the one day and not to mention eating like a grown man!

My feet are flat hence the reason why I trip up all time, I’m grouchy on a morning and I cannot start the day without two cups of coffee because I look as rough as a badgers arse when I wake up.

These are things that make me who I am therefore if I’m going to talk about my personal battle with Epilepsy then you need to know the basics about me. Life isn’t just about pretty pictures and picket fences it’s about being true to yourself and saying what you see.

I don’t know if you are all familiar with the book Anne Frank the diary of a young girl. I read this book at the age of ten and I have to admit it was the most compelling piece of literary content I’ve ever read. I’m actually contemplating reading it again 18 years on.

Published shortly after the second world war this book gave a detailed account of not only a young woman defending her faith and hiding for two years with her family against the Nazi’s but gave us the reader a sense of emotional attachment to a young woman we’d never met.

Like many of the characters we read in fact and fictional novels we too have that sense of a happy ending.

For those who haven’t read this book I would urge you to do so. Without giving the ending away this book made me realise how fortunate I was to have a life where freedom has been taken for granted and how people are very quick to scrutinise other people’s lifestyles.

When you have Epilepsy writing about it can be one of two things. It can be a sense of relief to finally get the words out that you’ve longed to write for so long or on the flip side there’s this worry that you won’t be understood and that people may question why you think a certain way.

Having Epilepsy is not like having a disease. It’s not an illness it’s a condition. Epilepsy is something none of you asked for nor did the family around you therefore you have no need to worry about how Epilepsy should look to others. There is nothing wrong with you documenting your worries onto paper if you feel that this will help you.

Since writing Sazzle’s blog the one thing I’ve realised is that you have to bare in mind that there are bound to be people who won’t feel the same as you.

You’re bound to get constructive criticism from time to time however you have to not retaliate forcefully but understand that we aren’t from the same mould and to be fair why would we all want to be the same? Yes we don’t want to be penalised for what we have however if everyone was the same then there would nothing to raise awareness on.

Since I last wrote I’ve been thinking about Epilepsy as a whole and how unlike other conditions Epilepsy isn’t as well known in people’s conversations than what it should be.

Maybe I’m being a bit biased because I along with the people I have the pleasure of speaking to have this condition therefore feel it should be mentioned more often. Their work makes me smile and their love for others are astounding. Juggling your life with a condition in it is difficult within itself however that positivity is something that should be praised because you’re doing a magnificent job.

As for the remainder of my week.

Well.. On Thursday I tried making a ham and beetroot sandwich and spilt beetroot down my white top. I’m not going to blame my shakes I was just a clumsy bugger.

Yesterday on the other hand made me appreciate spending time with the family all the more. Dad was entertaining the in laws therefore my day was spent entertaining my husband acting like a fool and purchasing some Christmas presents. After having a minimum of two coffee stops, spending a bloody fortune and quickly sneaking into a rather large vintage fair the day was spent laughing, joking and dodging the rush.

Returning home to chill with a bottle of red, strictly come dancing and Inception after we made time for one another and started planning what we wanted 2014 to have in store for us. It was a memorable evening in and something that I’ll remember for a long time coming.

Exercise wise, done.

Food wise, not so done because I had a chocolate muffin yesterday however I’ve counted it into my calorie intake for the day therefore not stressing too much about it. Family, doing great. Benny, the trumps are back!

To conclude today’s post. At the start of this post I wrote a quote courtesy of Ernest Hemingway. This man made sense and one day I hope to make sense too!

Writing should be a pleasure not a burden. Writing about a condition out of your control is something that you shouldn’t be ashamed to do it should be something that you seek comfort from. Never underestimate your ability to want more because we are all entitled to wanting what we can from life.

Today is probably the first day where I’ve not mentioned acceptance in a sentence (well maybe there I just did) because maybe I’m realising that by writing I’m starting to accept who I am and would urge you to try and do the same. If you hasn’t already, It will come within time. I promise.

  

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