This is a subject that I have written about before…and it seems to be the subject that pretty much every person I meet wants to ask me about…
My wonderful body is starting to give me some interesting experiences in the loose skin area. It’s not so much the excess of skin, but the weird noises it makes! Seriously…my stomach and legs and bingo wings now fart…I have a problem with body farts! I also have a body that is very pleased with my exercise efforts…as my bingo wings have been clapping and cheering me on all week!
Back in January my Dad pointed me in the direction of a TV show called ‘My Baggy Body’ which I watched with morbid fascination. I wrote about it back then, and realised that as a loser, and a big one with a long way yet to get to target, I am never quite sure how I feel about the loose skin issue. I have come to the conclusion that I would prefer not to have it obviously, but for me it isn’t a major issue. I don’t hate my body…I quite like the fact that I am still alive having been to the brink I suppose…and I have my body to thank for that. When I say that it isn’t a major issue, it isn’t for my mind – as I quite like myself…not so much my body…but myself and I guess all that comes with it!
It is going to be a major issue in terms of the physical nature of dealing with the sheer amount of loose skin left after 30st+ of weight loss. Whilst my mind might have come to terms with the fact that I will never look like Lara Croft, my mind also knows that lugging around the weight of excess skin that I will have is going to be hard. It is already becoming hard. In fact Mr WLB was asking about it yesterday, so I told him to hold out his hands and kind of dropped my stomach onto them…he was shocked at the weight of it…it almost pulls my back out of line causing pain at times. Then there are the hygiene factors…infections, boils…showering twice a day to keep this at bay is working for now…but it is a job that needs keeping on top of…and it’s not pleasant!
As it stands at the moment, I am well over halfway in terms of my weight loss. I have bingo wings to rival any of those seen at your local Gala bingo! If I want to see my lady garden area, it either takes some lifting and shifting, or a mirror and a precarious position. So I am just being realistic when I say that skin removal surgery will be a must. I know that it won’t give me my dream body, but I know that it will make day to day life a lot easier. It won’t make me like myself though…as I am already in love with the wonder that is me!
And no – shapewear, body wraps, creams and all of the exercise in the world will not help prevent the need for this surgery. Seriously – so please, I don’t want suggestions on a postcard on this occasion! I do moisturise, I drink plenty of water, eat good protein, do go to the gym, and I will – when I can fit into it – strap on the shapewear. But the simple truth is that after a good decade of extreme excessive eating, I will absolutely be left with an excessive amount of skin. My fault entirely. No need to bury my head in the sand.
This issue is not a mind one, but a physical one. If I was left with a bit of a jelly belly then I would wear it with pride…a badge of honour which represents my journey. I just don’t want a badge of honour that I have to throw over my shoulder to stop it dragging on the floor! My life is becoming more and more active, and I want to ride my horses without having my stomach skin resting on their necks, and swinging in time with the kettlebells!
All of this I wrote about back in January…but as I hit my 20st milestone, I recognised that things are getting saggier and baggier! My inner thighs are very wrinkled and saggy, and I have weird fatty deposits on the backs of my legs making them mis-shapen. I have had recent Pilates body fart experiences, which are far worse without clothes on…not that I have tried naked Pilates yet! I am struggling with gym clothing…as I want long tops to cover my saggy tum, need sleeveless tops to lift weights ideally but would also like to keep my bingo wings covered up. One of my challenges to myself is to wear a sleeveless vest at the gym. I would do this at the stables, but the gym is a different story…I am a confident person but there is only so much bingo-wingage that I want to share with the fitness fanatics! I am waiting for a day of ‘can’t be fecked!’ and I will go for it I think!
But it is genuinely okay. I am honestly fine with this situation. I often get messages from people who are almost using the fear of excess skin as a reason for not shifting their excess weight. Whilst I understand these fears, I cannot emphasise enough how I would far rather have the baggy saggy body that I have now, than the life I had at 43st 5.5lbs…seriously, there is no competition.
Who knows how bad it will get? I certainly won’t be getting anywhere close to my target without having bits chopped off…and I have two bits that I fancy adding a little to too! But we shall see…the journey continues.
I know that in terms of cost, I am looking at £60,000 to pay privately for the surgery I need. I do not have even a tenth of this…or a twentieth! But I will sort something out…I always do. There are options of cheaper surgery in places such as Belgium…but with so many horror stories both in the UK and abroad, it is something that I will need to start looking into. I think an appointment with a surgeon would be useful so that I can start planning. The problem is, it won’t be much fun planning for something like that…so I will end up leaving it until the last minute!
So that’s it from me tonight…I am taking my saggy baggy body up to the Scottish Highlands tomorrow and have a very early start – I am leaving at 4am to hit the roads whilst things are quiet. My day has been incredibly busy – I squeezed in an early morning workout before heading to sort the horses out. I needed a poo sample from one and then had to worm him. Then I bought the others in and got them ready for the dentist…one has to be sedated as he tries to kill them! Then I groomed all three of them and put them back out eventually once the dentists had been. They are lovely – we chatted about weight, fitness…and saggy skin! Then I caught up with the lady who is looking after the horses for me, headed to the shops, and filled up with petrol. I had a weird altercation at the petrol station. I pulled up behind a man who had been sat there for a while, and he eventually put his reverse lights on…for what reason, I couldn’t see as there space in front of him and he was parked next to the pump. Then as he pulled forward, so did I…only for him to slam into reverse, see me in the spot and go crazy. He then reversed around me at high speed and went to another pump…all he had to do was ask me to move and I would have done…although quite what he had been fannying around about originally, I have no idea! So he then shouts something about my weight…to which I said, ‘I’ve already lost 20st mate…all you’ve lost is your dignity and your petrol pump space…I think I know who’s winning in this situation!’…which got me a cheer from two men who had witnessed it! Then I headed home to clean out the car, pack the suitcase, clean the house, prepare all of my Slimming World food for the journey tomorrow…and am now trying to get some rest before getting up at stupid o’clock tomorrow morning!
Please bear with me whilst I am on holiday…I will be blogging but I warn you that there will be lots of scenery pictures and probably not much deep and meaningful stuff as I will be too busy eating seafood!
Breakfast: Banana, boiled egg, and Linda Mc sausages.
Another good food day. Brekkie was a strange one, but I only had one egg left and so had to get creative…it was lovely! Lunch was just something quick and simple during a busy day – a packet of chilli low fat Supernoodles with a pack of broccoli stir-fry. Dinner was of the déjà vu variety…same as last night! Purely as it has been a busy day and I couldn’t think of anything that I fancied other than the lovely meal last night. And my snacks were my tasty Nakd bars and nuts.
Exercise: 5 minutes treadmill, 60 minutes weights, 5 minutes treadmill.
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx