My late father-in-law was 67 when he passed away with Stage IV of Pancreatic Cancer in June 2015. He underwent several cycles of chemotherapy and had lived for 1.5 years before succumbing to the cancer this year.
He was very calm and cool when he was informed of the deadly cancer in Nov 2013. He was so calm that he knew what he MUST do for the family.
Giving loved ones a closure is good as it helps during the process of coping with grief.
Here are 3 things that my late father in law had done before he passed on. I felt it was good to share if you are currently facing such situation.
1. Do up a Will
If anyone has not draw up his or her will, he or she should do up a will now.
List down every single of assets, liabilities, insurance, investments etc that you have. Do not leave your spouse, your children, your loved ones dangling with mountains of debts to clear (if you have) as it will increase their heartache during the period of coping with grief.
So if you have debts, it is better to inform your family and come out with a plan to repay the debt.
Hand over the contact person of the will to your family. Write your last words in a sealed envelope and attached to the will. This is good if you had passed away suddenly, at least your family will find some comfort in the letter.
2. Speak to your loved ones individually
Even though my late father in law has done up a will, he still spoke to his family members individually. It is because there will be times when allocation of certain assets cannot be fairly distributed.
Some may get a more and some may get less. A private conversation over this issue allows the cancer patient to explain why he has to make such decision over the allocation. This is to avoid future dispute among family members.
Knowing that your loved one is leaving you soon can be helpless and grieving. A heart to heart conversation also presents an opportunity for the individual family members to say whatever is in their heart.
3. Spend as much quality time doing things you like
Live your life to its fullest as we always hear about it.
Spend as much quality time with your family as you will never know when your last day in this world is.
Because of these 3 things my late father in law had planed and executed the plan properly, my wife’s family is coping with grief well, just missing his loud voice.
Koh Ming Shao
Hi, my name is Koh Ming Shao. I am a sufferer of Eczema since the age of 6. It has been a physical and emotional roller coaster ride for the past 35 years. After reading the size effects of applying steroid, I decided to stop applying all together in April 2015. I had a horrifying outbreak in May 2015 resulting me to do some researches, and only to discover that I am having Total Steroid Withdrawal Symptom (TSW). I started to keep a journal on my journey on Total Steroid Withdrawal in my blog http://myeczemajournal.blogspot.sg/
Join with Google
Join with Facebook
This is good advice and something I would do myself , it is difficult to bring the subject up to some people. Thank you.
on November 20, 2015 at 9:57 am MargaretHi Margaret,
Thank you for your comment. Yes, indeed, it is very difficult to bring the subject of “death” to your loved ones.
on November 23, 2015 at 11:41 am Koh Ming Shao