Everyone has one. Watching ‘Welcome to the World of Weight Loss’ really bought that home for me. We are so quick to judge, yet have no idea why a person has ended up where they have – be that overweight, an alcoholic, a drug user…

Everyone who attends a weight loss group wants to lose weight! That might sound rather obvious, yet why do some people manage it when others don’t? I don’t think it is a about a lack of desire…I think life gets in the way. Watching WTTWOWL the other evening made me laugh, smile, frown and cry. There were stories about childhood habits, bullying, broken marriages, children with learning disorders with a mum who felt guilty and blamed herself for this, body dismorphic disorder…so many underlying reasons.

I used to think that losing weight was a case of eating less and moving more…and that if you really wanted it, you would do it. If I am being honest, I still do think this to a great extent – but after seeing these stories, and those of people who contact me – I am mellowing a little. This isn’t to make excuses, but just to understand that weight is a complex issue. There are a variety of reasons that got us there, and a variety of reasons that hinder us getting back again!

The programme made me chuckle at times, but I felt so bad for people at the same time. I don’t actually think – as with most weight loss programmes – that it gave a balanced and fair view. For example, Weight Watchers is not a bad plan, yet the list of foods eaten in one day by one lady was horrendous. There were dolly mixtures, spring rolls, crackers and cheese, chicken burger, Danish biscuits, more spring rolls and not a veggie in sight – bless her! She was thrilled that she had been on plan that day though. It is hard not to make comparisons with Slimming World when you see things like this…you just couldn’t eat that in a day. There are good and bad on both plans though!

I listened to the presenter saying that syns were to be used for ‘guilty pleasures’…there is nothing ‘guilty’ about syns. It actually represents the word ‘synergy’ and is the thing that Slimming World believe helps us to stick to the plan and brings it all together. Another TV method of promoting weight loss organisations in a poor light! :-) Then was talk of eating no brown food (I think beige would have been a more accurate description!), no cheese, no potatoes…it all sounded so restrictive.

Rosemary Conley is a plan that I don’t know much about – I know what is involved, but I have never tried it…only because there was never a local group though. I liked the portion pots that they hand out, but I wasn’t that keen when the leader – in a ‘private’ discussion with the presenter – said, “because unfortunately fat is not beautiful.” This was in relation to a question she was asked about whether or not she would still love her partner if they put weight on…it was a resounding ‘no!’…shame really; I wonder what her fat clients think after watching that…and whether her partner has stuck around!

I watched Panos – a Greek chap who tried to put on a happy front – talking about how he wasn’t happy to get fat, but was happy eating the food. Then there was Tammy – an emotional eater – who blames herself and carries so much guilt over her daughter who has severe learning difficulties…I cried a little watching her get upset. Hazel – who has body dismorphic disorder – and only leaves the house to attend her Rosemary Conley groups and to go to the shops…but has to be accompanied by her parents; it is too traumatic for her to leave the house. And then there was the lady who felt that God showed her the way to Weight Watchers…by creating a situation where she fell off a bus and had to be picked up by four men. So many sad stories with differing levels of weight loss success – but I doubt that any of us could say that their desire to lose weight was not there.

So just take a moment to think about your story. Would you want someone judging you without them knowing it? Maybe when you are next in class and wondering why that person never seems to lose weight, you could give them a bit of support. Unless of course Pizza Lady turns up at group…if so, just leave her be! ;-)

Right then…the usuals…

Today has been a bit of a nightmare. My story is that I never had any real reason to overeat – I started being a little greedy madam as a child (often behind my parents back – swapping good food for not so good food at school, getting the dinner ladies to give me leftovers!) and then learnt to rely on food for comfort – despite a loving home environment.

My story at the moment is that I am having an identity crisis. I used to be the career girl…the youngest and most successful in the first few companies I worked at – the only one in the family to go to university – a mortgage by the time I was 22 – a Mercedes by the time I was 23 – and TAG watches and expensive handbags (handbags and watches still fit fatties…so no designer label clothes, but plenty of designer accessories!) all paid for with the big income. Now, well now I don’t have that job…and I feel that I have lost my identity really. What is my purpose now? I don’t really want to return to the same sort of job just yet, as I want to keep the focus on hitting my target – and the work I did involved long hours, travel away from home…not exactly conducive to getting to group and getting the exercise in…or keeping the stress levels down. I feel like a bit of a waster – and this isn’t a plea for sympathy, or a call for a symphony of violins – but I feel as if I lack purpose. I know that I have so much to be thankful for, and so I don’t want to sound like a madam, but I have just lost my way a little and I am not at all where I had thought that I would be by the time I was 32. I have a plan of action…but I am having a wibble about it – would I make a good coach, will I get approved as a foster carer, will I ever get to my target…so many questions and so much uncertainty – it can be a bit overwhelming at times. I just need to man up and get on with it though I think!

So that is why today has been a bit of a nightmare…it has all been playing on my mind. And I also woke up with leg strain…pants!

Other than my mind working overdrive, I have worked on my other half’s project, been to the horses and to Asda, seen the kids…and am about to settle down and watch some TV to unwind.

Breakfast: Fruit salad.

20130823-190148.jpgLunch: Quorn cheeseburgers (2 x HEA and 2 x HEB).

20130823-190303.jpgDinner: Rice and bean ratatouille with cheese (12 syns).

20130823-200116.jpgSnacks: Cherry infused raisins (3 syns).

20130823-190415.jpgToday’s food has been functional – designed to stop me eating a horse. All I wanted today was junk…but managed to resist. Brekkie was a quick grab and go job, and lunch was also pretty quick too. Dinner was some mixed beans with rice and tomatoes, mushrooms, onion, pepper, courgette, spinach and garlic with herbs etc – it was supposed to be stuffed peppers, but I forgot and chopped the peppers before remembering!

Exercise: Nothing today.

Thank you for reading – and have a wonderful weekend!

Weight Loss Bitch xxx



On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!

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