talkhealth Blog

These were the words I uttered to my other half yesterday…”Grow up Peter Pan!”

I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about – it could have been his desire to win the lottery…which of course would make everything okay! Or it could have been one of those ‘life is so boring, nothing fun ever happens’ conversations. It might even have been him waxing lyrical about his football team and how it’s fine to spend a fortune to watch them lose as it’s a ‘life-long passion’…despite the fact that his iPhone screen is cracked and he wants that replacing…just before Christmas…just before our New Year holiday that still needs paying for…and we have no savings.

From a psychological perspective, there is such a thing as ‘Peter Pan Syndrome’ and it refers to the younger generations’ perceived unwillingness to grow up and their corresponding alleged immature behaviours. Apparently it is most prevalent in the generation born in the late 1980s and early 1990s where the development of a sense of responsibility allegedly does not occur nearly as early as it used to. Considering he was born in 1981, he has no excuse! And considering that info came from Wiki…who knows if it’s true!

I must admit that I have never been keen on responsibility…I always thought that it is some kind of adult behaviour! I still often wonder what I will do when I grow up…but at 32 years old, I think now is the time to start deciding, and quickly. I also often wonder whether this has anything to do with me never conquering my weight problem. My friends have all gone through stages of life – university, partying, graduate jobs, settling down, starting a family – and I have done some of these things, but just not in a logical order…all I have ever wanted was to crack this weight loss…I wonder if it has stunted my growth in a way? Maybe that’s a conversation for when I next see the psychologist…he would have a field day with that one!

My other half and I often have ‘what if’ conversations. What would we do if we won the lottery. What would we do if…? The thing is, I spent so much time wishing that something good would come along that I wasted so much time – time that could have been spent making something good happen! You can’t wish for it, you having to fecking earn it…make it happen. Don’t sit and wait for a miracle as they very rarely occur.

So if you are putting your life on hold, waiting for a miracle to occur, or for someone to come along and save you, I have to shout “Grow up Peter Pan!”…YOU are responsible for you and your happiness. Go out there and create fun, create happiness, create that life you have always wanted. Change little things and big things will happen.

Right then, that’s my little bit over for the night as I am getting tutted at as he wants to watch a film…so I need to wrap things up! Today has been good. I can’t say that I slept well last night really, which is annoying me as it is a common theme at the moment – although I read something today that say people with higher IQs have difficulties sleeping as their brains are more active…so I am going with that as my excuse! We woke up fairly early as I needed to get to the shops before dropping him off for the football coach and then heading off to my aquafit class. So we did the shops, had a quick detour to the post office to collect some parcels, I dropped him off for his coach and made my way to the gym. It was the first time I have been there alone and it was fine. The class was pretty active today…so active in fact that one old dude had to be helped out of the pool by a lifeguard halfway through. The other two classes that I do are a bit more sedate, but this one is hardcore…after five minutes I feel like I have done a full workout. Bless him – I am not sure he will be coming back…he was fine, I don’t mean ‘not coming back’ in a morbid sense, just that I think he knows it was a bit much for him. I then had a changing room giggle when my body oil was nearly empty. It was one of those moments when you look at the bottle and know that there isn’t enough left for another whole body coverage…so I kind of just slapped a bit more on and sat in the changing room looking like a big fat basted turkey. I also got some on the floor and nearly went arse over tit in the changing room! After this debacle I headed over to the stables. I had to go to our old yard to make up feeds – we have the stable yard and now a field which is about half a mile down the road. So I made up some feeds and put them in the car and drove to the field. I needed to worm my Welsh lad and my young lad. The Welshie was wormed and fed. The others were fed too…I just needed my young lad to do a poo before I could worm him, as I needed to take a sample of poo to send off for analysis. The place we got him from were not great in terms of care – poor lad – so I doubt he was ever wormed before I got him…which can cause lifelong issues. Anyway, my hair was wet from the gym so I put my wooly hat on and pleaded with him to poo. I only had a tshirt and a fleece jacket on as I hadn’t prepared well, and it was getting cold. My face had gone numb after an hour of waiting, and by the second hour my back and shoulders were going numb too. He eventually decided to poo just as twenty or thirty men with chainsaws started trekking across the field…as I was trying to get a worming syringe in his mouth. Then, just over the fence, a man decided to shake a massive bag of leaves everywhere…my young lad was not impressed and I think he almost choked on the wormer before dribbling some down my arm! I think about two and half hours had passed at this point. I was cold, wearing wormer down one arm and a rubber glove on the other, sifting through a pile of fresh shite to find a small sample from five separate areas of the said poo pile to ensure accurate analysis and results. My mind just went to its happy place at this point I think. I got home eventually, stuck the heating on high, made lunch, and put on a couple of episodes of Breaking Bad before heading out again to collect my other half from the coach park. A couple more Breaking Bad episodes is being followed by a film…but we are currently debating genres! On that note, I am signing off!

Breakfast: Total 0% Greek yogurt, oats (5 syns), chopped banana and Black Forest fruits.

Lunch: Salmon scrambled eggs on toast with cheese, spinach and tomatoes (2 x HEA and 2 x HEB).

Dinner: Cajun salmon with roasted butternut squash, peppers, courgette and red onion.

Snacks: Nakd bar (7.5 syns) and a rice cake (1.5 syns).

A lush food day! Brekkie was the yogurt with some oats and fruit stirred though…it was lush! Lunch was gorgeous too, but I had to wait until gone 4pm to sort it out as I was stuck in the field…not very good planning on my part really. Dinner was good too – so simple, yet so tasty. Just some Cajun seasoning sprinkled on the salmon, then I cooked that in the microwave whilst roasting the veggies.

Exercise: An hour of Aquafit.

Thank you for reading,

Weight Loss Bitch xxx

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WeightLossBitch

On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!