I haven’t been writing much lately because I don’t really have anything to write.   I’ve been on TPN for almost 3 weeks and haven’t seen any significant improvements.  In fact in some ways I seem to be getting worse.  
I have to get at least 10 hours of sleep each night, or I feel absolutely awful.  Most nights I average 12 hours or more, which is not normal, especially every day.  
On top of needing obnoxious amounts of sleep, my stomach has not been feeling well either.  I still get nauseous and distended even though I’m not eating, and will get hard areas in my abdomen that are tender to the touch.  Overall my instincts are telling me that the inflammation in my small bowel is getting worse.
To top all of this off, I still have 8-10 urgent bowel movements a day, which is incredible considering I am not really eating…. It’s not enough to make my bum hurt, but it is definitely enough to be irritating.  
So with all of these symptoms going on despite my general abstinence from food, It is getting harder and harder to not eat.   Everything is centered around food, and my resolve to not eat diminishes day by day as I don’t get better.  Why would I keep not eating food, if it isn’t helping?  But I am unwilling to give up on this treatment and genuinely feel that if I were to start eating again my symptoms would be almost unbearable, so I continue to not eat.   
But my lack of food and lack of improvement are leading to glum thoughts as we approach Christmas, and I am praying for a miracle in my not so normal life.

Sarah Brocker

Hi my name is Sarah Brocker and I have Crohn's Disease. I've got 8 scars and am missing two feet of intestines and my life isn't normal, but whose life is normal? I want to use my experiences to help you, even if it means sharing embarrassing experiences. I am also looking to break the stigmas associated with IBD in order to make living with IBD just a little bit easier. All I want to do is help, so please, let ME help YOU!

Add a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *