It’s been two years since Slimming World and I began this magical relationship…although I must admit that we had been together on many occasions before. We decided to give it a ‘proper’ go this time though!
During the past two years I have managed to shift 18st 7.5lbs – I have gone from 43st 5.5lbs down to 24st 12lbs. More importantly than the weight loss, I have managed to get my life back.
This is a little visual of my journey……some ups – but mostly downs! A shaky start. All heading in the right direction now. All leading towards a healthier life. Achieved without faddy diets, weight loss pills, and weight loss surgery – despite being continually told by medical professionals that I will not lose my weight without the dreaded surgery. In fact, I have to see them again next week and I am preparing my line of defence already!
And here comes the ‘but’…or the ‘why’. Why don’t I feel that great? I should feel bloody fantastic – and I suppose that I do – but I am just so frustrated with the pace of my weight losses over the past few months. I know that I should focus on the positives, and I know that I seem like an ungrateful cow…but how I feel is how I feel!
These feelings were not boosted by a rather inconsiderate lady that I had the misfortune to speak with today. She goes to my Slimming World group, and felt that it was appropriate to tell me that I should take the weight loss surgery as it’s easier. Now, regardless of the lack of emotional intelligence on display, this is a pretty bloody stupid thing to say. Firstly, surgery of any kind is rarely the easy option…and surgery which rejigs your innards and leaves you needing vitamin injections for the rest of your life is definitely not an easy option…at least for me! Secondly, how could she be so bloody stupid to say this to someone who has fought for the past two years – and is still fighting – a daily battle with old habits which requires immense effort and a total lifestyle overhaul? I was gobsmacked…which incidentally was what I wanted to do to her…smack her in the gob!
I then had the old lady at aquafit telling me that I was “rather buoyant”…what the feck does that mean? Fat? Or perhaps it was just because I whopped the asses (albeit old asses) of the ladies in the class? Competitive, moi? Not much! So two delightful encounters with two delightful individuals…
The support I get really is overwhelming, and it doesn’t feel good to complain and moan. But I need to get these feelings of frustration off my non-existent chest. You know how hard I work. You know that I care about this weight loss and that I desperately want to prove those professionals wrong. You also know how invested I am in helping other people lose their weight. I also want to give Slimming World the credit it deserves…it really does change lives for the better.
In addition to all of the above, you all know that I like to set myself little targets and goals…and these seem to be slipping out of my grasp at the moment due to the timelines I place on them. I was actually speaking with a wonderful woman this morning about this time related goals that we set ourselves. I was trying to help her, and nodding along as I too do the same thing. It’s crazy – progress is progress…yet I still want more!
My Slimming World consultant – who is bloody fabulous – made me laugh today. She knows that I am happy yet not happy – and she announced my two year anniversary and gave me this…but she didn’t give it me upside down…my Macbook did that bit……which I received after a 1.5lbs loss today. As she gave my the award she said, “If I had offered you an 18.5st loss in two years time when you first joined me again, you would have snapped my arm off!” And the unspoken words were probably…’So bloody well smile and recognise how much you have achieved.’
And I do understand. I understand that I have done really well. I understand that my body might be plateauing. I understand that I am making far more progress than just the weight loss. I understand that I sound like an ungrateful madam. I understand that my losses will slow down. However…I still have nearly 14st to lose. I sweat my backside off on multiple occasions each week at the gym with my gruelling sessions. I write this blog and record my food and my moods. I work on my mind…I am doing everything that I get told to do, yet the results frustrate me.
Whilst I don’t like to compare my journey against that of others, I do get frustrated when people seem to float along losing weight whilst never really sticking to the plan. But that is my lot in life I guess…I do believe that stuff happens for a reason. This journey has made me stronger, given me depth of character, and has enabled me to speak with some amazing people.
My focus now is to do my best. I cannot do anymore. I am seeing the dietitian on Tuesday at the hospital – and she will hopefully get me on the body composition analyser…so I can see my muscle mass etc – so this will be interesting information to have moving forwards.
Anyway, I am going to head off now. I am thrilled – really! I am thrilled that I decided to give Slimming World another go. I am thrilled with my support network. I am thrilled to be able to share this journey with you. And I was shocked as Pizza Lady gave me a big hug today!
Breakfast: Bananas.Lunch: Veggie cheese burgers (1 x HEA, 2 x HEB and 2 syns).Dinner: Bubble and squeak with mixed beans (1 x HEA).Snacks: French Fries (24 syns).A good food day. My usual post weigh in bananas. Lunch was my usual Asda meatfree burgers, loaded with gherkins, and served with cherry tomatoes. Dinner was a bit of a combo – sprouts, carrots, potato, red onion, spinach and chilli powder, with cheese and baked beans. And of course, my Tuesday crisps.
Exercise: 30 minutes aquafit.
Thank you so much for reading and for your continued support…let’s see what my third anniversary with Slimming World brings!
Weight Loss Bitch xxx