If I gave you…

23 Jun 2014

…a gun containing a single bullet and asked you to spin the cylinder before placing the muzzle of that gun to the side of your head and pulling the trigger, would you do it?

My guess is that you would be unlikely to want to place your life in the hands of chance.

Why am I talking about Russian Roulette though – which I actually thought was only played in casinos in Vegas – is it some new fad diet? A miracle quick fix? Have I been offered money to promote it on the blog?! Nope…but for me, remaining obese is the same thing! You are taking unnecessary risks with your life.

If you are a ‘loser’ like me, then you will have been bombarded with messages about ill health. I don’t want to be another messenger of doom, especially as I like a light-hearted approach to life changes, buy you only have to take a look at a newspaper to see how obesity affects us. The NHS Choices website states the following regarding the complications of obesity:

‘Being obese can lead to serious health problems, as well as shorten your life expectancy. It is estimated that there around 35,000 obesity-related deaths in England each year – this accounts for one in every 16 deaths.

Being overweight or obese can increase your risk of health problems, including:
high blood pressure (hypertension) – this is a major risk factor for developing a serious cardiovascular disease (conditions that can affect the circulation of blood around the body)
type 2 diabetes
many types of cancer
heart disease
osteoarthritis – a condition that affects the joints
back pain
liver disease
kidney disease
sleep apnoea – condition that causes interrupted breathing during sleep
gastro-oesophageal reflux disease
You are also more likely to develop complications in pregnancy if you are obese, such as gestational diabetes or pre-eclampsia (which is when a woman experiences a potentially dangerous rise in blood pressure during pregnancy).’

So why do we take the risk? You might not have any of the conditions / diseases / illnesses mentioned above. But why do we chance it?

Most overweight people I know are trying to change their ‘overweight’ status. Some for vanity reasons, some for health reasons, and some for a combination of both. I don’t care what it is that prompts you into making positive changes, but I sure as hell hope that it doesn’t take the diagnosis of one of the above!

I often hear people making comments regarding the fact that just because you are fat, does not mean that you are unhealthy; which is fair enough. I mean, someone could look at me and automatically assume that I have a host of health issues…I am still incredibly overweight despite shifting nearly 21st. But how do they know I have health issues. For many years – until I reached my late 20′s – I was fine…normal blood pressure, normal cholesterol levels, normal blood work, no joint pain…blah, blah, blah. But then – BOOM! – cancerous cells in my womb, polycystic ovary syndrome, and type 2 diabetes, and knees that crack and grind and creak…all self-inflicted and as a direct result of my weight.

It has taken a heck of a lot of time and effort to lose that chunk of weight. Thankfully I have reversed my diabetes and no longer have to inject and take four x 500mg of metformin daily. Thankfully I have reversed my cancerous cell status and will soon be off the medication – medication which is specifically designed to increase appetites in AIDs and cancer patients (and I still lost weight taking it, so none of your bullshit medication excuses!). Not so thankfully, I still have PCOS and the hairy beard that goes with it! ;-)

Seriously though, it is much harder to change when you are being forced to change. It is far easier to make small changes right now which will build momentum and lead to bigger and lasting changes in lifestyle. It is far easier to do it now, when your doctor and family aren’t breathing down your neck and watching every mouthful because they are worried about your health issues.

Without medical checks, my health issues could have escalated without my knowledge. And this is why I chuckle when I hear people talking about the fat and healthy thing. Of course you can’t assume that all overweight people are unhealthy. After all, I don’t know their medical history and so can’t judge…that would be bloody stupid of me. When I say that you can have a healthy lifestyle and be fat, but not be healthy and fat, maybe I am wrong? But do these people promoting the fat and healthy mantra have regular check ups or do they, as I did, avoid visits to the doctors as they expected a ‘you need to lose weight’ lecture…generally given by an overweight GP?!

I live a healthy lifestyle. I am not medically healthy. There is a massive difference. I am fat. I live a healthy lifestyle. But I am far from medically healthy…although I am working towards that. Compared to some of my slender friends my diet and activity levels and mental health is far, far better than theirs…yet in medical health checks they would outperform me. I still have a long way to go.

I saw a seriously overweight lady on ‘This Morning’ some time last year. She was there to promote fat acceptance and was doing her best to convince Philip and Holly, and the person opposing her, that she was happy to be fat, but more than that, that she was also incredibly healthy. And at that point in time, she probably was healthy. If I am being honest, her eyes looked dead though – they were the eyes of a fat person trying to put on a brave front and trying to convince not only other people, but themselves, that they are happy being fat. But I could see it in her eyes…they looked like mine used to! Or maybe she was just pissed off at being judged about her size, and being judged by people like me – who assume that her health must be suffering. I wondered exactly when was the last time that she had visited her doctor though – and had her doctor given her a clean bill of health…had they actually said, “You are healthy”. I struggle to see a doctor saying that to someone of that size. Perhaps, “For your size you are healthy…at the moment”!

I just don’t buy it that seriously overweight people are happy being that way. Not being able to bend over and put socks or shoes on without nearly cutting off your oxygen supply. Struggling to wipe your ass when you have been to the loo. Needing to walk upstairs but standing at the bottom, looking up, thinking that it looks like your equivalent of Mount Everest. Not being able to have a bath for fear of having to be rescued from your wedged and naked position by a bunch of Firemen! The checkout chick or chap sending you looks when they scan the stuffed crust pizza…even if it is your slender other half that will be eating it! The list goes on…and that list is a teeny tiny part of what my life was like…

But hey, what do I know? I have a bee in my bonnet and am on a mission to help people realise that weight loss is achievable, whatever their starting weight. I won’t say, “If I can do it, anyone can!”, because our journeys are all so different. The paths that got us to the land of excess weight will be very different, and therefore the solutions might be very different. I can’t not mention my coaching here, can I?! This is why I love coaching. It works in conjunction with solutions such as Slimming World, and attending the gym, but focuses on your personal nuances and how to set yourself up for success.

Anyway, what I will say is that I think trying to promote the fat and healthy mantra is incredibly misguided. I doubt anyone in their right mind would promote it…perhaps the thought is that fat doesn’t necessarily equal poor health. Then again, with the wealth of scientific evidence that shows otherwise, I am not buying it. To me, fat does equal poor health…maybe not immediately, but it’s on the cards!

I will ask my question again. If I gave you a gun containing a single bullet and asked you to spin the cylinder before placing the muzzle of that gun to the side of your head and pulling the trigger, would you do it?

In fact, I reckon that there would be a boffin out there who could work out the odds of getting shot in a game of Russian Roulette – six chambers, one bullet, a one in six chance – versus getting one of those illnesses in which obesity is a risk factor…I wonder? My totally uneducated guess is that you have more chance of getting one of the illnesses. And as I am not a gambler, I am going to continue trying to shift this bloody weight once and for all, before I end up having to check off more of the illnesses mentioned.

Okay, my little lecture is over now! And I just want to clarify that I have no problem with curves and a muffin top – I actually think a little bit of weight is fine. Just as I think that it is fine to choose to be overweight. Your size should not dictate how you are treated. You should be able to go about your business as anyone else does. I have a problem with people promoting the fat and healthy myth…you can be fat and lead a healthy lifestyle…which actually means that one day you will no longer be fat. Excess of food and a lack of activity lead to weight gain. If you are living a healthy and balanced lifestyle then it will balance out…no excess…no obesity.

The more I write, the more annoyed I get. I am all for people going out and living life as they want to. If you have a flabby saggy ass like me and want to go swimming, then you should fecking well go and do it. Don’t let anybody stop you. But if you have a flabby saggy ass like me and are trying to convince everyone that you are medically healthy…then please keep swimming…but just stop with the fat and healthy shite! ;-)

I really am going to shut up now, as it’s a topic which drives me crazy and I am probably digging a huge hole for myself – at least it’s a smaller hole than it once needed to be though! ;-) I want everyone to be treated equally, but I just don’t like people risking their health and trying to convince others that it’s okay to do the same thing. Be fat, have a healthy lifestyle, and then come and say hello to me in a few years time…because if you are living a truly healthy lifestyle then you won’t be fat anymore and I can put your argument to bed. For me, the fat and healthy thing is just an excuse. Make your choice…be fat, own it, enjoy it, flaunt it…but just don’t promote irresponsible messages along the way. What I have just written reminds me of a quote about religion, ‘Religion is like a penis. It’s fine to have one and it’s fine to be proud of it, but please don’t whip it out in public and start waving it around… and PLEASE don’t try to shove it down my child’s throat.’

Right, I really, really am going to shut up now! :-)

Today has been good. Nice and quiet ready for the onslaught that is coming this week – which includes my final assessment at uni. I grabbed some extra sleep but in the process of doing so have trapped a nerve in my shoulder…so that’s karma biting my fat ass and telling me not to be so lazy! I got up, worked for a bit, headed to see the horses, went to the shops, have been food prepping like a demon for Mr WLB, worked a bit more, did a bit more work…and then read a bit more of my psychopath book. I ditched it last night in favour of a Harlan Coben book…which I read within 4 hours! More reading is on the cards tonight as I escape the football on TV. It’s weigh in tomorrow and I have no idea what to expect…it’s been a standard week, but who knows what my old body will throw at me.

Breakfast: Boiled eggs, banana, and a nectarine.

20140623-150633.jpgLunch: Sardines on toast (2 x HEA and 2 x HEB).

20140623-165825.jpgDinner: Smoked river cobbler with roasted veggies.

20140623-184941.jpgSnacks: Nakd bars and peaches (14 syns).

20140623-185958.jpgAnother good food day today. My usual brekkie was followed by an old favourite for lunch…my sardine, red onion, spinach, and cheese combo. Dinner was grilled veggies with fish – quick and simple. And my snacks were my beloved Nakd bars.

Exercise: Nothing today…it’s my glorious rest day! :-)

Thank you for reading,

Weight Loss Bitch xxx



On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!

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